First of all, I love my wife. She is amazing in a lot of different ways. But I don't want her.
Second of all, we are both HD. I want sex (in general) a lot, but I don't want to have sex with her. It eats me up inside every day. I have sex because I love her and want to make her happy, or because I just want sex, but not because I desire her. I try not to let on to this. It is not because I want someone else, because I don't, although sometimes I wonder if I want her to be someone else; and the thought of possibly wanting to change her makes me feel sick and guilty.
We are both in our mid 20s and have only been married for about a year. We dated long distance our entire relationship. I often felt like a physical spark was missing in our relationship while we were dating. The issue was made more complex by the fact that we were trying to wait until marriage to have sex, and she often felt guilty when we went too far.
Our personalities overlap, but we're also quite different. I grew up listening to harder and edgier music, love fast cars, I hit the gym hard every day, and have seen combat. My wife went to a very conservative Bible College and gets concerned when I drive over the speed limit.
I thought she was amazingly hot when we were dating. I still think she's absolutely beautiful, but just in a different way now. She's gained about 35 pounds in the past year. I don't want to address this issue with her any more because she had an eating disorder growing up and I don't want to hurt her. I also recognize I can't make her change, it's something she has to do.
I'm not that attracted to the way she dresses either, and I feel guilty about that because I think women should be able to dress the way they want without having to have men pass judgement.
She has discussed in the past how I am attracted to "bad girls" and that it bothers her because she isn't a "bad girl." It's kind of misleading to say that I'm attracted to bad girls because the things I love about my wife are all good things and I'm not asking her to do drugs with me or become swingers. There's just no flirting (something I crave) or witty banter. There's no teasing or surprise boudoir photoshoots or sexy outfits, or slightly reckless behavior. There's no pain with the pleasure and sometimes I wonder if I'm wrong for wanting a little pain or if it's a product of past dysfunctional relationships. Every thing is just too easy and too plain. I even hate making love on top because it feels gross, and I hate that I hate that so much. The concept seems great and hot in my head, but it all comes apart in practice.
I seriously want to want my wife, but I don't. Is there something wrong with me?
Second of all, we are both HD. I want sex (in general) a lot, but I don't want to have sex with her. It eats me up inside every day. I have sex because I love her and want to make her happy, or because I just want sex, but not because I desire her. I try not to let on to this. It is not because I want someone else, because I don't, although sometimes I wonder if I want her to be someone else; and the thought of possibly wanting to change her makes me feel sick and guilty.
We are both in our mid 20s and have only been married for about a year. We dated long distance our entire relationship. I often felt like a physical spark was missing in our relationship while we were dating. The issue was made more complex by the fact that we were trying to wait until marriage to have sex, and she often felt guilty when we went too far.
Our personalities overlap, but we're also quite different. I grew up listening to harder and edgier music, love fast cars, I hit the gym hard every day, and have seen combat. My wife went to a very conservative Bible College and gets concerned when I drive over the speed limit.
I thought she was amazingly hot when we were dating. I still think she's absolutely beautiful, but just in a different way now. She's gained about 35 pounds in the past year. I don't want to address this issue with her any more because she had an eating disorder growing up and I don't want to hurt her. I also recognize I can't make her change, it's something she has to do.
I'm not that attracted to the way she dresses either, and I feel guilty about that because I think women should be able to dress the way they want without having to have men pass judgement.
She has discussed in the past how I am attracted to "bad girls" and that it bothers her because she isn't a "bad girl." It's kind of misleading to say that I'm attracted to bad girls because the things I love about my wife are all good things and I'm not asking her to do drugs with me or become swingers. There's just no flirting (something I crave) or witty banter. There's no teasing or surprise boudoir photoshoots or sexy outfits, or slightly reckless behavior. There's no pain with the pleasure and sometimes I wonder if I'm wrong for wanting a little pain or if it's a product of past dysfunctional relationships. Every thing is just too easy and too plain. I even hate making love on top because it feels gross, and I hate that I hate that so much. The concept seems great and hot in my head, but it all comes apart in practice.
I seriously want to want my wife, but I don't. Is there something wrong with me?
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