Hello Everyone, I've been lurking and trying to gain insight. I'm at a loss about my current situation (aren't we all?). I'm hoping a little third party perspective from the male population will be able to put things into perspective for me.
First, I'm asking because I don't want to waste anybodies time; mine, or his.
A couple months ago a friend told me this guy we're friends with (and see daily) think's I'm cute. I thought nothing of it as I'd heard that he was looking for a purely physical, FWB, type of deal and that is not who I am. I knew, from him, he's recently, within the past year, gotten out of a serious relationship... so nothing about that seemed out of joint to me.
Not long after, he sent me a facebook message and invited me to coffee. I accepted, as coffee is coffee and I don't equate it to anything more than a friendly outing. Well, we never quite made it to coffee as out schedules didn't permit, but he did start making it a point to get to know me on a more personal level.
We started chatting about likes, dislikes, movies, music, food, common interests, etc. I was a bit reserved because I was aware of the fact that he was looking for a casual thing. Anyway, it became obvious that he was putting effort into getting to know me so we went and had dinner. I had a really nice time. He's really interesting, smart, witty, and has really refreshing manners.
I also hung out with him one afternoon and we walked through a park. Again, just talking. He did eventually kiss me. A nice, romantic kiss. Nothing sexy, nothing crass, nothing over the top. However, on this night he asked me where I saw this going. I answered him honestly and told him I hadn't given it any thought because I thought he was looking for a purely sexual relationship. He seemed somewhat irked that I would think that. Long story short... we agreed on day by day.
Fast foward.... It's only been a couple months, but I'm utterly confused. Typically, I take everything at face value. I go with what someone's actions say, or with what they verbally tell me.
He told me he's getting over the stuff from his previous relationship. I acknowledge that he's unavailable. I don't want more than he's willing or able to give.
Yet, his actions are that of a boyfriend. He didn't like the idea when a friend invited me out on a double date within earshot of him. He texts me every morning and every night. He talks to me on the phone while he drives home. He snaps photo's of him, the golf course, his cats, his breakfasts... anything really, and sends them to me. He calls me "peanut". When I walk down the hall, his eyes follow. He always texts me to ask if I want to sneak away for a kiss. And, this is just a quick idea.
It seems like a lot of effort for someone who isn't interested, no?
I'm 30. I don't want to be toasting Geritol at my wedding. I'm not interested in wasting my time on someone who has friend-zoned me. While I'm not in a rush to find a man, I'd rather not be closing myself to potential spouse material either because they think I'm taken or because I'm mis-reading this guy and closing doors.
Where is my disconnect between the actions and the verbal juju?
First, I'm asking because I don't want to waste anybodies time; mine, or his.
A couple months ago a friend told me this guy we're friends with (and see daily) think's I'm cute. I thought nothing of it as I'd heard that he was looking for a purely physical, FWB, type of deal and that is not who I am. I knew, from him, he's recently, within the past year, gotten out of a serious relationship... so nothing about that seemed out of joint to me.
Not long after, he sent me a facebook message and invited me to coffee. I accepted, as coffee is coffee and I don't equate it to anything more than a friendly outing. Well, we never quite made it to coffee as out schedules didn't permit, but he did start making it a point to get to know me on a more personal level.
We started chatting about likes, dislikes, movies, music, food, common interests, etc. I was a bit reserved because I was aware of the fact that he was looking for a casual thing. Anyway, it became obvious that he was putting effort into getting to know me so we went and had dinner. I had a really nice time. He's really interesting, smart, witty, and has really refreshing manners.
I also hung out with him one afternoon and we walked through a park. Again, just talking. He did eventually kiss me. A nice, romantic kiss. Nothing sexy, nothing crass, nothing over the top. However, on this night he asked me where I saw this going. I answered him honestly and told him I hadn't given it any thought because I thought he was looking for a purely sexual relationship. He seemed somewhat irked that I would think that. Long story short... we agreed on day by day.
Fast foward.... It's only been a couple months, but I'm utterly confused. Typically, I take everything at face value. I go with what someone's actions say, or with what they verbally tell me.
He told me he's getting over the stuff from his previous relationship. I acknowledge that he's unavailable. I don't want more than he's willing or able to give.
Yet, his actions are that of a boyfriend. He didn't like the idea when a friend invited me out on a double date within earshot of him. He texts me every morning and every night. He talks to me on the phone while he drives home. He snaps photo's of him, the golf course, his cats, his breakfasts... anything really, and sends them to me. He calls me "peanut". When I walk down the hall, his eyes follow. He always texts me to ask if I want to sneak away for a kiss. And, this is just a quick idea.
It seems like a lot of effort for someone who isn't interested, no?
I'm 30. I don't want to be toasting Geritol at my wedding. I'm not interested in wasting my time on someone who has friend-zoned me. While I'm not in a rush to find a man, I'd rather not be closing myself to potential spouse material either because they think I'm taken or because I'm mis-reading this guy and closing doors.
Where is my disconnect between the actions and the verbal juju?
Put the internet to work for you.
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