| I'm 37 and my girlfriend is 22. She's from the Philippines, although she speaks english fine, very well in fact. Anyway I have a friend who was married to a filipina until a couple of years ago, as well as a cousin who has a filipino girlfriend also, and is still with her. Everyone involved lives in the UK. My cousin recently told me to be very careful about my girlfriend. When I asked him what he was talking about he referred to our friend and his failed marriage. He told me that it's not uncommon for guys like us to lose our spouses / girlfriends from south east Asia and other parts of the world due to negative cultural influences, i.e. the media, and also other women, unless they're careful. The problem, he says, is that the values which these women are raised with tend to become eroded over the years unless one is careful, and that I should do what I can to minimize that, in order to avoid problems down the line, although it can certainly be avoided. I'm certainly in agreement with him that values in the UK are pretty much down the drain to say the least, and the divorce rate / Jeremy Kyle way of life speaks for itself, but what can I do to keep my girlfriend from being influenced too much by negative things over here? Here's a general list of qualities that she has, which I don't want her to lose... She's cooperative, easy to work with, runs things by me / doesn't do things behind my back or keep me in the dark, is fine with me making decisions, she's respectful, easy to please / obliging / kind, appreciative, and likes to please. She hold herself accountable for her actions and takes responsibility, she has maturity, and doesn't make excuses. She's simple i.e. not complicated, doesn't complicate her life with banalities, she's humble and modest, and doesn't take herself too seriously. She doesn't have a sense of entitlement, she's not demanding of attention and special treatment, nor high maintenance, nor narcissistic. She's well behaved, polite, has self respect, and conducts herself with class. She's truly strong and independent, which I really admire, i.e. she has a very good work ethic, she's a hard worker, has self discipline, inner strength and coping skills, has her own identity rather than identifying with negative role models on tv, thinks for herself, and can look after herself. She's likeable and wholesome and very friendly. She's feminine, homely, and likes, admires and respects men. She's very bright, reads a lot, and has travelled quite a bit. And she's totally loyal, and honest. And because those are the things that I like so much about her, I really don't want her to lose any of that, but I fear that if I'm not careful, that could happen, and I could end up like my friend who wasn't careful. To give some background, I started dating when I was 17, and in the 15 years or so of dating in the UK (and a bit in the US) I've probably dated around 30 or so women and yet I've never met anyone who even comes close to her in terms of values and attributes. Whereas when I was in south east Asia during the last few years it was like night and day by comparison. Cultural values and upbringing really do make all the difference. So, back to my original question, how do I minimize the chances of her becoming "ruined" by UK / US culture? | |||
| | |||
| | |||
|
How do I make sure she stays the same?
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)

No comments:
Post a Comment