Family at war.Marriage suffering Too what a mess :(

Hi ladies I'm after a bit of advice. i'm 21 weeks pregnant after ivf everything is really hard at the minute There is a lot to this so I've tried to narrow it down a bit. Its very long* So I understand those that want to read and run..* Lots of family arguments are going on at the moment and I guess I'm asking for advice because I can't think straight recently. My sister is younger than me and has 4 children and twins due any day. My sister is under the watch of social services due to various reasons, she married her husband 6 weeks after knowing him and a few months later they were out drinking and he beat her up really badly* * He has a drink problem and previous domestic violence charges... A month later she is pregnant with twins by him….. Really Clever!* She has had her problems in the past drinking, drugs (all whilst pregnant) which as you can imagine struggling with conceiving my own child was very difficult for me to see her not appreciating her children. All she wanted to do was go out and party and would leave the children with anyone who'd babysit them. She is lazy, never worked a day on her life none of her children were planned and between the six there are at least three different dads We are not close anymore as you can imagine! Haven't been for years. My mum always runs around for her dropping her kids off at school picking them up, feeding them, clothing them and taking them to doctors hospital appointments etc My mum has turned down invites to holidays etc because she has to be there for my sister. My mum and step dads marriage is so strained because of her, he thought he'd be enjoying time with my mum now we're all grown up and be a grandparent. Now he finds himself pretty much a full time dad again! With all this going on with the social services my mum has become stressed and worried that the children will be taken in to care but* it seems to be my mum fighting for the children etc. shes terrified they'll be taken into care. My mum* doesn't sleep hardly eats and she does this all around working her own business too she looks awful.* ** I don't see why she wont back off and let my sister sort it out and stepup and be a mum. She knows she isn't capable I'm guessing, even though she wont admit that she defends her My sister has thrown accusations around about me and the rest of the family that we are reporting her to social services?!* Also That when we used to have my nephews stay over we would question them?!* We've never questioned them they are just children! My sister is paranoid! She sent me a nasty text after reading some texts I had sent to my mum which was nothing insulting about her just the truth about how I feel about it all how Im worried my mum is taking on too much, how she is tired all the time etc. I've taken the back seat for years whilst my sister has caused havoc. My sister* in the text has now stopped me seeing my four nephews whom I love very much* I feel she is doing this out of spite to hurt me and not considering what her children need. Her one son age 6 told me the other day he wanted me to be his mummy? That's not right is it? I know my nephews love me and my husband very much. My mum defends her a lot and will stick by her whatever. She says that my sister is changing and that she just needed to realise what she could lose i.e. her gorgeous children… I dont think she will ever chamnge her eldest is 7 what does she need to realise?! her children are lovely! Me and my mum don't seem to agree on it all and its making it very difficult for me and my mum to have a normal relationship. My mum says I don't ever contact her,I don't often because she has no time for me. My mum is very needy and she likes running around after my sister and playing mummy to them, I'm the wrong one for growing up being a good person making a life for myslef and not clinging to her a$$! Doesn't seem fair! I will bring my child up myself because I want to. I guess my mum sees it that she has more at stake to lose with my sister and her 6 kids :nope: she doesn't want to be lonely later in life I know that. My mum is very insecure. She is loving and was a fantastic mum but she likes to be needed a bit too much. She says she would do the same for me if I needed her, the difference is I wouldn't expect my mum to mop up the mistakes I make in life. i want to pamper her etc make her proud and show her what a good mum I will be Would my child be different to her other grandchildren becasue she spends so much time with them? She says he wants a relationship with us both and does not favour any of us. She makes me feel guilty for speaking my mind and how I feel I've just really had enough I really do feel depressed and Im* angry my sister can start the arguments when Im pregnant…* Shes hiding away whilst my mum is on the frontline defending her and arguing with the family members who dare try and sort this out I don't feel anything will ever change, my mum is scared to tell my sister to sort it out as my sister will do the same to her- cut her off from the children… My sister is very manipulative and clever Me and my meet once a week at a pub to see each other whilst my sister is lounging around at my mums home waiting for her to get back. Why should my relationship be like this with my mum? My husband is so angry he doesn't want my mum at our house. I understand hes angry and trying to protect me as I am So low recently. My sister hasn't just fallen out with me but my dad and aunty too. She has caused a massive problem in the family. We are so different I don't see how we can ever sort this. My mum thinks I shoudl sort it so I can see my nephews. I cant I'm so angry with her and my opinions of her won't change. I am supposed to be enjoying the most happiest time of my life and all I seem to do is cry. What kind of family will my baby have? What will happen at Christmas? I can't go to the house. I can't even look at pictures of my nephews it hurts too much I miss them. My mum is going to be hurt when she can't see our child :( Please help My husband and I are feeling the strain and I can't cope With this too Posted via Mobile Device My husband won't accept anything my mum buys for our baby

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