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My husband has unrealistic expectations of my family

My husband seems to have these expectations about the amount of effort my family should make to make him feel loved and included. His family is great in that way and they do put effort in to make me feel part of the family. My family however are much more subtle and they don't express how they feel very well. He is upset because he has had to leave for a few weeks (I am staying with them while he is away) and nobody from my side of the family has emailed him or kept in touch.

I have explained that they are like that and that he cannot take it personally. I have tried to illustrate that that is how they are with everyone. I have even reprimanded my entire family for not making more effort.

He now wants to cut them off completely. It's putting strain on our relationship and it's causing strain on my relationship with my family. I feel so stuck in the middle. They do love him, they just aren't great at expressing it. He also doesn't see that in the 5 weeks he's been away he hasn't bothered to stay in touch either. It's like he expects that all the effort should come from them. He keeps saying that he has put in effort, but really, when he was here he was very distant and really didn't get involved with them much.

I am not sure how to proceed now. I am very worried that he'll cut them off (which he has done to all his friends and some of his extended family when they failed to meet his expectations) and that my close relationship with my family will suffer for it. How do I encourage him to see things differently without him feeling like I am disregarding his feelings?




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