Been gone awhile, update of sorts, and a question.

Very short cliff notes: Great marriage Wife gets on facebook 2009, finds ex bf, I did not know 2011 "I dont love you" I am absolutely stunned, come to find out she went to see ex bf behind my back 2012 - December, after two years of counseling and my believing that we were finally getting back to normal, she goes and crushes me again, sneaks to see him in Toronto (we are from the midwest in Nebraska). 2013 - March - she moves out into her own apartment, files for divorce 2013 - July - birth control on my health care insurance, again (she got some in December also) and stated "It is to control my cycle and migraines" and "I can't be seeing anyone right now, it is just best for me to be alone, don't worry about that". 2013 - August - she has a boyfriend, has had him for some time, and had him in her apartment while my children were there, then refuses to talk to me about it. I'm not posting this for any reason other than to discuss my rights regarding my wife suddenly having this boyfriend around my children, a guy that she barely knows (if you believe what she says). I asked her "Please do not bring this person around our children, with you and him alone, because that is very confusing for them" and her reply: "You will not tell me what to do, he has a 5 year old boy and I want him to get to know our kids and be friends" I'm very angry, extremely hurt, because of a variety of reasons. She wasn't able to keep things together enough to be a respectable mom to one family, now she is wanting to drag another man and his kid into the mix, and confuse my children even worse. We are STILL MARRIED, we are not divorced, so of course this hurts me like hell, but her response? "I haven't cared about your feelings in a long time" very spiteful. But again, I digress, this is about the kids. Am I wrong to feel this way? Every parenting book, website, and video I have read states the same thing, you do NOT introduce your children to a prospective partner in the dating stage, and you absolutely do not get them together with the other person's children. Reason being: they are already traumatized by the divorce, and you will confuse them to start with by bringing another man into the mix, then that man's child, and what if that doesn't work out, suddenly they lose another potential source of affection, and experience even more detachment disorders. I can't explain this to my wife at all, she just claims I'm trying to control her, I stated that all I'm doing is asking her to PLEASE read up on the issue and don't involve our children with a strange man. Absolutely no concession on this, just the same claim from her that I'm "trying to control her" or "you are using the children to control me" *sigh* I'm at a loss, every time I think she's hurt me as much as she can, be it using her maiden name at her college graduation after inviting me and not telling me, attempting to sell her wedding ring the day she tells me that she wants a divorce, not helping one bit to get our 'dream house' ready to sell (because I can't afford it anymore), she finds new ways to hurt me. Am I out of line not wanting some other man involved with my children a mere 2 months into the full separation???

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