Opinions?

This is my first post and I feel like it's a new low for me. I don't know where to go or what to do so I'd appreciate some advice. I've been married for 6+ years and my husband doesn't want sex. Over the years I've brought it up and said it's a problem and he says sure we'll have more and we'll have sex a few more times and then we don't. Since January I think we've had sex once. I've stopped initiating last year, which I know is petty but I feel like if he initiates he wants me. If I initiate then he just goes along with me. I've been reading some posts here and I think it's possible he has low testosterone or he might have a porn addiction. Late last year I told him we need to see a counsellor and he agreed but neither one of us followed through. We've had two date nights in the last few months (kid sleeping at grandparents for the night) and both times it's turned into a fight and no sex. The second date night was this past weekend and this is what made me so frustrated. So I've told him there's a problem in our marriage and we need help, otherwise I'm done. I said that I suspect that there is something going on and I think it could be one of the following: - porn addiction...I looked at YourBrainOnPorn that someone psoted here...I've never said he couldn't look at porn and it's possible he could be addicted. He has become very anti-social over the years, plus he has a smart phone and I know he looks at porn on it. - there is someone else...I am pretty sure he goes straight to work and comes home. He does not go to bars or out with friends. If friends call him to go out, he never returns their calls. - low testosterone...I asked him to see the doctor to get checked. - he's not turned on by me...I don't know, I'm not in the best shape and I'm a bit bigger than when we met and I've started exercising. Problem is that he still didn't want sex even when I was thinner and fitter than I am now, so I don't think that makes a difference. I've told him this is what needs to happen: - get his testosterone tested - we need counselling His response was "well can we schedule sex instead of seeing a counsellor?" My reply was "NO we cannot. This has been going on for years and you keep telling me you're going to change but nothing ever does. We need a counsellor so we can figure out this problem or I'm done." Last night he went on his computer and looked at shoes for himself on sale. No mention of a counsellor, no mention of a doctor appointment, nothing. It's like he's happy to keep the status quo. I have always felt like he's been holding back on me, like he has some weird fettish or something that he's too embarrassed to talk about. I feel like we are missing an emotional connection. Not long ago we had some friends over (another couple). I remember him sitting there and not saying three words all night. It's like he has nothing to say to anyone. I briefly mentioned to a friend that he's had a lower sex drive and she suggested he might be depressed. But is it possible to be depressed for years? Sex has always been vanilla. I remember one time having sex in another room of the house and he wanted to go to our bed. It feels like I'm living with a room mate. I'm thinking of going to counselling for myself, my self esteem is hitting the floor. In my fantasy world he'd want to have sex with me every day. I've told him that if he were to initiate every day I would never turn him down, ever. Nothing has chagned. He never initiates. Any other suggestions? I'm in tears thinking about my marriage.

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