My wife is thinking about divorcing me, please give me some advice

We got married less than one year ago, after being in a relationship for close to 4 years. I'm a pretty introverted person, and so it's really hard for me to open up and talk about this stuff with anyone other than her, but I think I need to hear things from others. I read some of the stories on this forum that have helped me. This is hard for me to write but I hope someone can offer some insight. I love my wife dearly, and I don't want us to get divorced. I'm in my mid 30s and never thought I would want to get married until I met my wife. She also has felt the same way. We have had a lot of ups and downs in our relationship already, but when things are good betwen us have more passion, love, and genuine care for each other than I ever imagined I would have with someone. I know she has felt the same way before. She has had some pretty severe at times mental health issues (depression, bipolar, co-dependency issues), and even though I have always had nothing but good intentions towards her, I'm sure there were times when I wasn't supportive enough and wish I could go back and show her more affection and love. She was pregnant but the pregnancy didn't last, and she was devastated. I tried to support her in it, but I now know that she felt like I didn't care enough at the time (I did! very much! but I was more concerned with her health, getting better, and trying ag ain, and I think she perceived this as me not caring very much). When she was in despair, I tried to talk to her too rationally, and she ended up just feeling worse about herself, when I now know that she just needed love and encouragement. I regret this so much right now. Recently I began to feel that she has gotten colder towards me. When I confronted her, she told me that about 30% of the time she wishes we had never gotten married. I was crushed. Even with some of the hardships that we had gone through, I was (still am) completely committed to working through any difficulties and growing our relationship for the rest of our lives. After that things got worse for me, and I have become emotional and devastated. I just want her loving ways back, to show her I will do anything I can for her, and to work through whatever we can. For the longest time she was absolutely loving and affectionate towards me, in ways I never thought I would have. I'm afraid I may never get that back. She told me that she feels that she has lost some of her own identity in our relationship. I may have had some insecurity and jealousy with her, but I don't think I was too obsessive or possessive. I never tried to control her actions, but I think sometimes when I would express discontent she would just give in to my wishes, and later this became a source of hard feelings towards me. I have told her that I would love for her to work on her co-dependency issues with me, and that I will try my hardest to encourage her to be herself and not give in to my discontent sometimes. I have sent her some pretty heartbroken letters in the past week, as well as had some conversations. I know I need to be strong, but I felt it was important for her to know how much I really love her and want to work things out. She has said some things to me that were pretty devastating, like "I love you but I'm not in love with you". When I asked her about how we talked about growing old together, she said she was embarrassed to have said that. This was absolutely terrifying to hear. I completely let my guard down with her, knowing in my heart that she was one that I would never have to have guards against, and now this is happening. Parts of my days and nights lately have been close to unbearable, wondering what I can do, trying to stay strong. As of now, she told me that she needs 3-6 weeks to decide. We still hang out, have had sex several times, but I know there is coldness and emotional detachment lately. I get the feeling that she still cares a lot for me, loves me, but is seriously considering that her life might be better without me as her husband. She has a daughter from a previous person, who is now 7, who is also a big part of my life, who I have grown to love. I know I shouldn't want her to be with me unless she really wants to be with me, but I desperately want her to be in love with me again and know that I regret not giving her more love and affection when she needed it. She has said it might be too late. I am trying to be strong, be independent and give her time to sort through and process, but it is so difficult. She hasn't said that it is over, that she needs 3-6 weeks, so I am really desperate to show her and convince her to stay. I just keep fearing and seeing signs that she might choose to leave. I work a decent job full time, work out regularly, and have plenty of self-worth. But it is getting really hard to keep doing those things right now. So far I have been doing it though. I have also been trying to reach out to people I haven't spoken with for a long time - old friends and some family members. I haven't told anyone what is going on with my wife and I because I'm not comfortable confiding like that with most people I know. I would really appreciate anybody's comments or insight, and I sincerely thank you if you took the time to read all this.

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