Day 1 of NC....My Heart Hurts

Hello dearest heart buddies, This morning I am feeling worst than yesterday. I guess reality is starting to kick in that this person who I thought was always honest, loved me to death, kissed me all the time and wanted to always be with me, lied to me about everything. It was 2 years of lies and deception. My heart is so much in pain, I don't know how much longer I can take this. He never loved me, not even a little bit, and it is killing me. Today is day 1 of NC. Yesterday should of been day 1 but he texted me about some stuff that I left in the apartment and then in the night he called once, I didn't pick up though. I guess he was calling me to find out if I dropped the class that I shared with him. That's another thing, I share a Portuguese class with him that I cannot get out of because it is necessary for me to graduate. I will not go this week but next week I have to. It will be one of the hardest things to do but I will go with a smile. Why does it have to be so painful? Urgh this sucks. Question: How did you stop feeling the pain and how long does this last? I ended a 3 year relationship before this one and it didnt really hurt as much. I guess I knew that we would stay friends because he didn't really lie to me, it was more of a mutual thing. This one is killing me because I feel like I was worthless.

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