Things just got worse. A whole lot worse.

Me and the wife have struggled since day one. We're 15 years in.. She has worked very little of this time. I posted in the general relationships about her depression, anxiety, abrasiveness, etc.. She just can't hold a job. She has no friends, and every time she gets a job, if she makes it two weeks without getting fired, she usually quits because she always claims people there are out to get her, a-holes, stressing her out, and about 1000 other reasons. So, I've somehow by miracle alone been holding things together. But it hasn't been pretty. I owe no less than 15 different bill collectors for various utilities, medical loans, etc.. We no longer have health insurance, or even a 401 k. I've dropped everything and cashed out over the years just to make rent and basic bills. Well we were really under a month ago, to the point that all seemed hopeless. I've also already sold everything I have of value on craigslist too. Then thankfully I did my taxes on Feb 1st, and got a decent refund of $2000. I used most of it just to catch up on car payments (was 2 months behind), a credit account that I was behind on, and caught us up on the rent. What I failed to factor in was the electric bill.. We owe over $500 and have a 10-day shutoff notice. The engine in my car blew up the same day. They want $2000 to fix the car, $500+ for the electricity, and I got rent and another car payment coming up on the 1st. It's hopeless. I can't say ANYTHING to her, because she will go into a depression-anxiety induced martyr syndrome and blame me for making her feel bad. Everything sets her off anymore so I have to be careful about anything I say to her on any topic. Yes she sees a psychiatrist, and gets counselling, but it really only works for about 1 day, then she's right back to crazy. The drugs used to work, but now only keep her from being that much worse. And not to mention those costs are adding to the wallet-mulching that is my life. I'm just super depressed today and venting.. we just had a fight about something so stupid that it doesn't warrant the time it takes to type it out. But that's just it- she turns the smallest thing into WW3, and if I told her about how bad things are, she would only find a way to make her shortcomings all my fault.. like I said it's all about her being the martyr.. She wants me to do everything for her, everything for the household, everything period. Then when something goes wrong, well guess who did it. ME. I'm so damn angry right now. I want to just disappear, run away to mexico and start a new life of something. This sucks.

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