Background:
1. I'm fairly newly separated from my ex for the second time (divorced in 2010, reconciled last year, it exploded and I moved out in June. We have a DD14 and DS12)
2. My phone is not working right. It is spazzy and very unpredictable because I accidentally submerged it in water on Thursday. But, as far as I know, I'm getting all messages even if I can't respond because the touch screen is all crazy.
3. My DD14 is afraid to go downstairs to the kitchen alone if it's after dark and we've all already gone down to bed. She hates being alone and hates the dark.
This is my weekend to have the kids, but my DD14 told me on Wednesday that she wanted to be at her dad's house this weekend because it had been a few weekends since she'd been there (due to scheduling stuff/her going away with a friend) and she wanted to ride her horses. I understood and said OK, but assumed she might come back Sunday afternoon or evening so I could take them to school in the morning on Monday....much more convenient for my ex who leaves for work at 4AM Monday.
This afternoon, after my son's soccer game, I went to Best Buy for the second time this weekend, about my phone. When I returned, I said, "hi!" as I walked in the door and two voices greeted me, when I was only expecting my son. I said, "I hear two voices!" My son said, "DD14 is here! Dad dropped her off." I was like, "oh, ok, hi honey....didn't know you were coming home."
Of course I do not care that she's here and I'm glad, but what if I'd decided to take an overnight trip somewhere with my son and she was dropped off to an empty house? Or even if we'd just gone out for the night to the Movie Tavern like we were considering and she had no way to reach me because my freaking phone is not working right? Really, NO contact to ask if this was ok? Is it just because it was my scheduled weekend he assumed this was acceptable?
My sis stopped by not even 5 minutes later and I was telling her about this and she wisely said (even though she hates my ex and he's not even allowed on her property), "Well, maybe you just didn't get the message because your phone is so messed up right now. Don't make assumptions and just clarify before you get mad." (She knows me so well)
In addition to dropping my daughter off, he also bought our son (12) a brand new phone (Samsung S6, same one I'm having trouble with from my stupid mistake). In our agreement, we had stated that I would be buying both of the kids' next phones as it was my turn, so I'm confused why he did this. I did not OK this purchase if he's going to make me reimburse him, and it doesn't even have phone service on it, so I guess I have to figure out how to transfer his phone number, etc. from his iPhone to this new one.
I emailed him a very brief and business-like email to ask him about these two things. The biggest issue is him dropping my daughter off without even notifying me since she's only 14 and would be terrified if she was alone in this house overnight! The phone thing is just inconsiderate and I'll deal. The bigger issue is that he's refusing to communicate at ALL with me about anything and that is very dangerous with regard to the kids. They are still minors and we need to be able to exchange emails at least.
He has not responded to my email (he does get them on his phone and his phone is always on him), but please tell me....am I overreacting about him dropping my 14 year old daughter off without telling me if this was not a technical/phone issue?
1. I'm fairly newly separated from my ex for the second time (divorced in 2010, reconciled last year, it exploded and I moved out in June. We have a DD14 and DS12)
2. My phone is not working right. It is spazzy and very unpredictable because I accidentally submerged it in water on Thursday. But, as far as I know, I'm getting all messages even if I can't respond because the touch screen is all crazy.
3. My DD14 is afraid to go downstairs to the kitchen alone if it's after dark and we've all already gone down to bed. She hates being alone and hates the dark.
This is my weekend to have the kids, but my DD14 told me on Wednesday that she wanted to be at her dad's house this weekend because it had been a few weekends since she'd been there (due to scheduling stuff/her going away with a friend) and she wanted to ride her horses. I understood and said OK, but assumed she might come back Sunday afternoon or evening so I could take them to school in the morning on Monday....much more convenient for my ex who leaves for work at 4AM Monday.
This afternoon, after my son's soccer game, I went to Best Buy for the second time this weekend, about my phone. When I returned, I said, "hi!" as I walked in the door and two voices greeted me, when I was only expecting my son. I said, "I hear two voices!" My son said, "DD14 is here! Dad dropped her off." I was like, "oh, ok, hi honey....didn't know you were coming home."
Of course I do not care that she's here and I'm glad, but what if I'd decided to take an overnight trip somewhere with my son and she was dropped off to an empty house? Or even if we'd just gone out for the night to the Movie Tavern like we were considering and she had no way to reach me because my freaking phone is not working right? Really, NO contact to ask if this was ok? Is it just because it was my scheduled weekend he assumed this was acceptable?
My sis stopped by not even 5 minutes later and I was telling her about this and she wisely said (even though she hates my ex and he's not even allowed on her property), "Well, maybe you just didn't get the message because your phone is so messed up right now. Don't make assumptions and just clarify before you get mad." (She knows me so well)
In addition to dropping my daughter off, he also bought our son (12) a brand new phone (Samsung S6, same one I'm having trouble with from my stupid mistake). In our agreement, we had stated that I would be buying both of the kids' next phones as it was my turn, so I'm confused why he did this. I did not OK this purchase if he's going to make me reimburse him, and it doesn't even have phone service on it, so I guess I have to figure out how to transfer his phone number, etc. from his iPhone to this new one.
I emailed him a very brief and business-like email to ask him about these two things. The biggest issue is him dropping my daughter off without even notifying me since she's only 14 and would be terrified if she was alone in this house overnight! The phone thing is just inconsiderate and I'll deal. The bigger issue is that he's refusing to communicate at ALL with me about anything and that is very dangerous with regard to the kids. They are still minors and we need to be able to exchange emails at least.
He has not responded to my email (he does get them on his phone and his phone is always on him), but please tell me....am I overreacting about him dropping my 14 year old daughter off without telling me if this was not a technical/phone issue?
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