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Made the mistake of sleeping with my ex...

My ex and I filed separation papers in June of 2013. Because we have minor kids, we had to wait a year before we could get the judgment of divorce. When we split, we hadn't had sex in over two years. When I approached her she always rejected me outright, even going so far as to tell me to go hire a prostitute.

Last June, out of the blue one night, she asked me if I would sleep with her. After three years away, of course I said yes. At the time I thought the sex was good, as good as it had been in the past (we started out very sexually compatible). I made sure she came several times, as I always had. Well, as I thought I had.

The next day, she told me that she'd slept with another guy after the separation.

The day after that she told me she was filing the final divorce papers.

Now she's back seeing that same guy, or at least having sex with him without calling it dating.

I came away from the whole thing feeling not only the rejection of the original dry spell but also that the return sex must have been the worst ever. Otherwise why the final divorce two days later? The fact that she's back sleeping with someone that she was with in between our being together makes it feel like she tried me out one last time and liked the new stuff better (this after we were together for 19 years).

I haven't touched anyone since. I can't even easily spend...alone time...without thinking of her and her new guy and how much better she must like it with him. Ultimate mood killer.

Basically, it's got me all ****ed up in the head.

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