The title is just the tip of an iceberg, but it tells a lot imo.
I got married at 18 to my ex, who was 25yo at that time. We met in Internet, had LD relationship and no intercourse before marriage (religious reasons). I didn't find him attractive at first but he was funny and (supposedly) mature. I actually tried to break up with him once or twice but he was always so disappointed I just kept going and got used to him.
We dated about a year before marrying. Around 6mo into our relationship he insisted that I (17 at the time) satisfy him orally and with HJs or else he will break up with me. Due to religion this was forbidden and a sin, idk why I was so weak but I played along in fear of losing him and being faced with the fact that he had made me do that stuff to him.
Years go by, kids are born, I try and speak to him about my wants around once or twice a month. I can orgasm easily by myself. He promises to try more but that doesn't last. He doesn't like going down on me or using his hands, it takes too long he says. We still have a regular intercourse twice-thrice a week. Then I discover the joys of flirting online to strange men, have a few crushes (nothing physical but it's still cheating I know). One is special, saying that he is not enabling me to stay in my that obviously is lousy by being available. That gives me courage to start to think about things. I try to talk with my husband, he still doesn't care (also is not much of a provider or a father, yelling at kids, and not keeping any discipline, calling me names and being all around a negative person).
I separated, moved away with my kids and honestly don't even miss him at all (it's been around 4mo).
I know my faults. I know a big chunk of this rests on my shoulders too, I'm not denying that. I thought about counseling but there are some issues that can't be resolved even in counseling. The other person has to want to change, and even then at some point it just is too late. I should've never married him. It feels like that lame saying "we grew apart". I grew tired of his negativity, when I matured, he didn't. I like to think I loved him at least on some level. Maybe I feel guilty about putting up with him this long (over 10 years) when I didn't have strong feelings for him. Now he is very bitter and resentful, blaming me for everything (he is not even capable of taking kids to him all at once or nights (3 kids, ages 1-9). He has asked two times is this my final decision but in a very hostile way, I have replied that it is. I haven't seen any warmth in his behavior, just selfishness. But, I take all this as a lesson learned about life. And I have my wonderful kids <3.
< br> Idk what I wanted to achieve by writing all this, maybe experiences about people who have been in a similar situation?
I got married at 18 to my ex, who was 25yo at that time. We met in Internet, had LD relationship and no intercourse before marriage (religious reasons). I didn't find him attractive at first but he was funny and (supposedly) mature. I actually tried to break up with him once or twice but he was always so disappointed I just kept going and got used to him.
We dated about a year before marrying. Around 6mo into our relationship he insisted that I (17 at the time) satisfy him orally and with HJs or else he will break up with me. Due to religion this was forbidden and a sin, idk why I was so weak but I played along in fear of losing him and being faced with the fact that he had made me do that stuff to him.
Years go by, kids are born, I try and speak to him about my wants around once or twice a month. I can orgasm easily by myself. He promises to try more but that doesn't last. He doesn't like going down on me or using his hands, it takes too long he says. We still have a regular intercourse twice-thrice a week. Then I discover the joys of flirting online to strange men, have a few crushes (nothing physical but it's still cheating I know). One is special, saying that he is not enabling me to stay in my that obviously is lousy by being available. That gives me courage to start to think about things. I try to talk with my husband, he still doesn't care (also is not much of a provider or a father, yelling at kids, and not keeping any discipline, calling me names and being all around a negative person).
I separated, moved away with my kids and honestly don't even miss him at all (it's been around 4mo).
I know my faults. I know a big chunk of this rests on my shoulders too, I'm not denying that. I thought about counseling but there are some issues that can't be resolved even in counseling. The other person has to want to change, and even then at some point it just is too late. I should've never married him. It feels like that lame saying "we grew apart". I grew tired of his negativity, when I matured, he didn't. I like to think I loved him at least on some level. Maybe I feel guilty about putting up with him this long (over 10 years) when I didn't have strong feelings for him. Now he is very bitter and resentful, blaming me for everything (he is not even capable of taking kids to him all at once or nights (3 kids, ages 1-9). He has asked two times is this my final decision but in a very hostile way, I have replied that it is. I haven't seen any warmth in his behavior, just selfishness. But, I take all this as a lesson learned about life. And I have my wonderful kids <3.
< br> Idk what I wanted to achieve by writing all this, maybe experiences about people who have been in a similar situation?
Put the internet to work for you.
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