I'm so nervous asking a question here. The last and only other time I sought advice in a forum (parenting) they ripped me a new one. eeks! So I place my trust in your hands and grimace just a little, hehe. I will start out with the cliff notes for those who would rather skip my lengthy story.
My husband and I have been together 7 years. We have 2 boys. My youngest not even a year yet. Our bedroom life is not what it once was. As many others who fall into an unfortunate rut. The other day I asked my son to wash his hands. Dad and son both did. They use a fruity smelling soap. it's a running joke with us how pretty they smell after. I teasingly said "who is she?!? to my husband. He got all defensive. I gave him a weird look. You know the one ,****ed eyebrow scrunched face. Than I said "that was weird. Soooo who is she"? And I laughed. Trying to bring it back around to a joke again. He replied. "I'm not starting this $@!ll" And that was that. It was dropped. But I can't shake this feeling in my gut. Is there another woman?Am I being paranoid?
There...my.. I hope condensed version. The following will shed a little bit of light on our history. To each and every one of you I wish you a beautiful day!
As I said we've been together 7 years. Our first 2 years were long distance. It took us some time to adjust as a family when the final move was made. I have a son from a previous relationship and was not ready to make any giant leaps without making sure that this man was THE MAN. He was funny, smart, wonderful with my son, helpful, easy to talk to, and on the eyes haha.
While in our long dist relationship I trusted him wholeheartedly. Than after moving in together I was made aware of a few things. My trust began to crumble than all together shatter. He had been texting his ex wife behind my back, met up with an ex girlfriend and found out while my son and I were in the process of moving in with him he was seeing someone else. I don't have any idea if anything physical happened. He says no. I have my doubts.
We went to counselling. For four years now we've been...eh. okay. Things have been gradually going downhill. Our intimacy, communicating, and just bonding. I want things the way they were before. But am having trust issues. He is content. Or so he says.
After finding out the sneaky things he had been doing. I took up to being sneaky myself. I went through his computer, social media, email, and cell phone. After counselling he told me he was giving all that up because it seemed to be the root of our problem. So he did. We've been using basic phones ever since. He spends time with us. He is really a good family man.
After time I ceased my stalking. I don't harass him while he's at work (I never did), I don't hound him with questions (I never really did that either. Just stalked). I'm pretty laid back myself. So that's why his overreacting about some silly soap has left me uneasy. I just have this gut wrenching feeling. The only other time I had this is when he told me he wasn't meeting up with his ex girlfriend and I just knew he was lying. I wouldn't rest until I found proof. And I did. That is the ONLY way he will ever come clean.
So to those who may say "just ask". I can't. Because if I do he will deny deny deny. He is a VERY good liar. I don't want to resort to my old ways. I couldn't even if I wanted to. He conveniently severed all ties with technology as far as I can see. Though...no don't go down that path. I'm so scared to bring this up to him. Please, am I overreacting?
I guess I should add that he's been moody here lately, having longer days at work, yelling at our oldest all the time. Oh I need to stop I'm just overly worried and probably looking into things way to much. He he.
My husband and I have been together 7 years. We have 2 boys. My youngest not even a year yet. Our bedroom life is not what it once was. As many others who fall into an unfortunate rut. The other day I asked my son to wash his hands. Dad and son both did. They use a fruity smelling soap. it's a running joke with us how pretty they smell after. I teasingly said "who is she?!? to my husband. He got all defensive. I gave him a weird look. You know the one ,****ed eyebrow scrunched face. Than I said "that was weird. Soooo who is she"? And I laughed. Trying to bring it back around to a joke again. He replied. "I'm not starting this $@!ll" And that was that. It was dropped. But I can't shake this feeling in my gut. Is there another woman?Am I being paranoid?
There...my.. I hope condensed version. The following will shed a little bit of light on our history. To each and every one of you I wish you a beautiful day!
As I said we've been together 7 years. Our first 2 years were long distance. It took us some time to adjust as a family when the final move was made. I have a son from a previous relationship and was not ready to make any giant leaps without making sure that this man was THE MAN. He was funny, smart, wonderful with my son, helpful, easy to talk to, and on the eyes haha.
While in our long dist relationship I trusted him wholeheartedly. Than after moving in together I was made aware of a few things. My trust began to crumble than all together shatter. He had been texting his ex wife behind my back, met up with an ex girlfriend and found out while my son and I were in the process of moving in with him he was seeing someone else. I don't have any idea if anything physical happened. He says no. I have my doubts.
We went to counselling. For four years now we've been...eh. okay. Things have been gradually going downhill. Our intimacy, communicating, and just bonding. I want things the way they were before. But am having trust issues. He is content. Or so he says.
After finding out the sneaky things he had been doing. I took up to being sneaky myself. I went through his computer, social media, email, and cell phone. After counselling he told me he was giving all that up because it seemed to be the root of our problem. So he did. We've been using basic phones ever since. He spends time with us. He is really a good family man.
After time I ceased my stalking. I don't harass him while he's at work (I never did), I don't hound him with questions (I never really did that either. Just stalked). I'm pretty laid back myself. So that's why his overreacting about some silly soap has left me uneasy. I just have this gut wrenching feeling. The only other time I had this is when he told me he wasn't meeting up with his ex girlfriend and I just knew he was lying. I wouldn't rest until I found proof. And I did. That is the ONLY way he will ever come clean.
So to those who may say "just ask". I can't. Because if I do he will deny deny deny. He is a VERY good liar. I don't want to resort to my old ways. I couldn't even if I wanted to. He conveniently severed all ties with technology as far as I can see. Though...no don't go down that path. I'm so scared to bring this up to him. Please, am I overreacting?
I guess I should add that he's been moody here lately, having longer days at work, yelling at our oldest all the time. Oh I need to stop I'm just overly worried and probably looking into things way to much. He he.
Put the internet to work for you.
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