8 yrs of marriage, still no intimate sex

Yes, we have been married for 8 years soon. We have children, but something is not right. My wife has never felt anything "down there" during the act (or at any other time either pretty much). We had the suggestion before to go and check with a gynocologist if everything looks the way it's supposed to. She doesn't want to with the motivation that "I've been examined before, they would have seen it if something wasn't right". I have not succeeded in my attempts to stimulate her by touching her, most of the time she doesn't want me to touch her there, and when she allows it she gets annoyed when it doesn't happen the way she wants it to. I've asked if she could perhaps do it herself to find out what she likes, then teach me, but she won't, she considers it a sin to touch herself, and she'd feel stupid doing it. Now, I don't know if women just don't get aroused and feel lust the same way men do, but generally she seems to feel nothing. She has never gotten "carried away" the same way I get carried away pretty much every time she comes naked to me in bed. During sex she can talk about whatever, and many times she hasn't even been there at all, mentally. So while I enjoy things physically, there is no emotional sex. She claims she does feel lust, but it seems to me like just attraction since she has no desire for touch, and how could she tell the difference if she never felt it... I am no bodybuilder or anything, but I look good, average height and build, visiting the gym etc. we're not extreme in any direction, physically. So aside from never having real intimate sex, my suffering is also not ever feeling wanted or "lusted for". And naturally sex only happens once a month on average which is hard when you're in your upper twenties (that's her age too btw). This may be the case of all married men of my age, I don't know because I don't talk about these things with my friends. Any input on the matter is appreciated. I realize I am just seeing my side of the problem, she would describe it much differently I think, but this represents my problem, and although I do feel sorry for her not beeing able to feel anything, or not being able to feel lust, this is the way it affects me. I love my wife very much and she loves me, we have no intention on ever separating or being unfaithful to each other, but this is a problem in our relationship. It has been like this for our entire marriage. We are each other's first mates, and no one is cheating on the other. Any helpful advice is very much appreciated.

Put the internet to work for you. via Personal Recipe 2629979