| This is soooo complicated but will keep it short....I have known my partner for 8 years. She has always been insecure and demanding but I understood her reasons and loved her unconditionally. The rot started to set in when we moved in together. The idea was to merge both our families under one roof. My two were 16 and 17 at the time and hers was 13. My son & daughter lost their Mum 1 year before. We were seperated but still friends. All living together was my attempt to give them a sense of family again after their loss. My partner had always had problems in accepting my daughter ever since we met. She has always seen her as the 'other woman'. My daughter hardly saw her and couldn't understand why she was disliked. Anyway, after buying the house my patner changed her mind and said she couldn't have another womans kids in her house. My own house sale fell through and it was suggested to mine that they could stay there and I would pay the bills cons idering that they were going to Uni soon. They agreed and that's how we existed for a while. I was very uncomfortable about the whole thing but my partner was very convincing (I've since discovered that she shows the traits of a Sociopath) and made me feel at ease about it. However, soon my contact with my kids became restricted. She didn't like me calling them on the phone or even answering their calls, saying that I could only talk to them on Sundays. Again we argued about this constantly and I tried my best to create a balance. My partner didn't like the fact that I loved my kids and wanted my full attention 24/7. Because of this she began sending my daughter nasty text messages out of the blue and yet my daughter has always been nice and polite with her. This behaviour escalated and to cut a very long story short, my partners other grown up children no longer speak to her and her daughter that lives with us has now left and gone to live with her dad for the same reasons. They all feel sorry for me and this has made the situation worse. Finally, it got too much and I left on Boxing Day and moved back into my other house. My partner has been a nervous wreck and considered suicide but has come out the other side and now says she has completely changed. has apologised for everything she has done to me and my family, realises she has been unfair and selfish and has had an epiphany, saying she understands and will never be like that ever again. She has been crying on the phone and on my doorstep saying she loves me and wants a clean slate. My friends and even her own daughter say I would be stupid to go back but I am starting to feel for her. My question is this; do I believe her and things will be much better for everyone? Can a leopard change it's spots? Will my kids ever talk to me again if I give her the benefit of the doubt or should I follow my head and run a mile? The people that know her think she's wonderful but to close family she is di fferent, having no empathy for anyone's feelings - yet now she says she understands that and knows that she is driven by her insecurities. Can it work or will it be shortlived? I am stressed out with not knowing what to do for the best as I can't imagine a future without her in it as we have done so much together, despite being so difficult to live with. My fear is that Xmas, Birthdays etc for my family will still be traumatic as everyone is walking on eggshells. Can she really change her mindset to repair all of that or am I being hoodwinked again? |
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