Competition with the AP even in R

How many BS are in some sort of competition with the AP when they are in R? Honestly….I know all of the CWI speak about creating a new marriage and standard answers but I'm interested in how many of us REALLY try to be better than the AP. Example, you didn't do certain sexual things, now you go all out. You lose weight because you were motivated by how the other person looked (but say it's about being healthy). You pay more attention to things your WS shared they liked about the AP. Before you could care less about some of their interests, now you are totally interested in everything. Do you find yourself trying to be "better" than AP in always? I know we all say the AP is nothing (rightfully so) and we are above them but does the competitive part kick in, even when they (the AP) may have moved on to someone else or just away from our WS? My husband broke up with his AP and I still wonder months later does he regret it, did he stay for our daughter when he says he is here for me. I was not happy at all way before he got involved with her but as soon as I began to suspect he was cheating, I kind of forgot I was unhappy too and focused on making him happy when he was out having an affair. Now I am trying to be my best self and wife for us to have a chance but still feel like there are things about her I can never be. :(

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