| About 3 months ago, my husband and I went to a holiday party in which he got really hammered. That night, while he was passed out, I went through his phone (i know not good) and saw that he had booked a hotel room for the week before during the work week. I asked him about this, and after many back-and-forth moments, he finally admitted that he was supposed to meet the co-worker at the hotel but she stood him up. Then he said he felt bad and wouldn't talk to her anymore. He went on to say how he wanted to make it right and learn how to be a better husband. We bought marital books, talked, increased communication - everything seemed to be back on track... ...until three days ago. He friended the same co-worker on Facebook. I immediately asked him about it, he denied it but then quickly changed his story after he realized he could not lie about this one. He unfriended her but for me it brought back all the bs from a few months ago. I confronted him about it, we argued, I tried to take his phone, and we wrestled (literally) back and forth over the phone until he reached out and choked me. I was/am horrified... ...eventually, I got the phone and realized he had been using a privacy app to "discreetly" hide all of her incoming calls, texts, picture messages, etc. for the past 3 months. I keep reading the texts over and over again. He explained it to me as that he and she had alot in common and that their friendship just kept growing and growing into something more. As I continued to read, I kept seeing her say stuff like "I want to make passionate love to you" or "how can you love two people at once" or "i don't know if i can do this, i shouldnt be messing with a married man". He would respond "I dream about you at night", "you look so beautiful today, lovely brown eyes", and "we can make this work, would you be willing to try?"... ...then he told her to "block my wife" on Facebook so that they could be friends, and then a few moments later told her that the Facebook was a bad idea and that I found out, etc... she called him and he told her that he could not have anything else to do with her. She simply responded ok and hung up... ...I just keep reading the texts and then I saw where she said she wishes that she had never let him kiss her. ...he says they never hooked up. And that he doesn't love her. He doesn't want me to go, and that he needs me, and needs me to stay. I'm afraid that when he goes to work today that he will rekindle. I'm afraid that if I stay, that he will just hurt me again. I'm worried that he doesn't love me like he did. It feels like we are just roommates some days. He said I'm too serious now. But that we can make it work if I would give him a chance. ...the things he said to her, I haven't heard him say to me since we were dating. He even sent her pictures of him from our bed! I keep thinking about it, over and over in my mind. I can't sleep or eat... :( I don't know what to do and am so confused: should i stay and try one last time? should i stay and try, but secretly make an exit plan? should i just cut my losses and leave? all of these make sense in my mind, and i can't choose. any light shed on the situation would be helpful... | |||
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