Why My Marriage Failed in Just Over a Year

I'm posting this on the General Relationship Discussion as I found that posting anything that is critical of a female's role in marriage in the Ladies Forum will only get you banned. I was married for 14 months. It was a contentious relationship and one that didn't manifest itself until after we got married (unfortunately we only dated for 5.5 months). I had just lost my Mom due to cancer, had to put down my dog of 13 years and embroiled in an awful legal battle with my Mom's NPD husband. In addition, my exwife just had breast removal due to having the Bracca-1 gene and had just completed breast reconstruction when we met. All that being said, our biggest issue was that I never met her expectations. If I cleaned the house, there was something that she'd find fault with. I traded stocks and made more than she did, but because I didn't have to leave the house like she did in the morning, she didn't consider it work. I did all the cooking, majority of the cleaning, finances, etc. and the few things she had on her plate she agreed to do, she started to offload on me. Even the 2.25ct center diamond wasn't good enough -- she commented that we could upgrade it at our 5 year anniversary. (This was a custom ring that I spent over $16,000 on and had two made before I presented it to her). It was a *constant* power struggle with her. I look back at the fact that I should have implemented some of the MMSL or NMMNG techniques, but honestly, how or why does it almost ALWAYS seem to be the man who is the one who has to change and NOT the woman who should acknowledge HER shortcomings? I see it time and time again here. I just don't get the 'free pass' mentality that women have for their actions or how they behave. Even when like my exwife, she physically assaulted me, I dismissed it. But when I threw a cup of water on her to get her out of her rage, she called the cops on me and said she was assaulted and in fear of her life because I had guns in the house (I've had a CCW permit for over 7 years and have NEVER threatened someone with a gun). I went through a period of cleansing where I needed to acknowledge the mistakes I made in interacting with her in order to move on. Through that process, she felt remorse for what she did and things became physical for a brief time. But as soon as I tried for her to acknowledge HER role in our demise, she immediately became defensive, said she wasn't going to live in the past, that she did everything for the marriage and I did nothing, and then walked out. I just don't get it. Sorry for being so long-winded, but the double-standard is excruciatingly mad.

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