Long term marriage success or failure

Having your hair blown back by someone of decent manners and values that you are attracted to for 18 months to 3 years is easy when your endorphin ****tails are still jumbo size, so no marriage medals are given for this. Sticking with a marriage when it gets tough is still reasonably easy for a few years after all that wild bunny sex because hope and memories and wishes for reignition fuel the marriage for a few more years. The challenge begins when unrealistic expecatations are in place that it will fix itself or always be easy, never change, your honey will never be weak or stupid or make a real bad self centered mistake, uncontrollables will never be devastating and incompetent spouses will never be unaware of or poorly execute marital obligations, wants or needs of thier spouse for a period of several years until the flame goes out that we call marriage. Marriage is a fire that starts with gasoline and a match. That fire must continue to be fed wood or it goes out. You must add wood to the fire or it will burn out. That wood is knowing what your marriage needs to keep the glow burning warmly and providing that consistently to the marriage. Like fire, a marriage gets larger and smaller and can be rekindled with effort. It can also be extinguished with neglect. Both spouses need fire making and maintenance education, the ability to comprehend it, the ability and willingness to apply it and the commitment to take full responsibility for their half of it. The reasons marriages fail are lack of at least one of the following 1. Integrity 2. Relationships competence 3. Commitment 4. Incompatibility coupled with inflexibility 5. Addiction 6. Mental illness 7. Uncontrollables This list may or may not be complete but many variations will still fall under one of those reasons such as communication under competence. Bad with money under shopping addiction, etc Whatever your marriage problem is you need to 1. Identify it 2. Learn alooooooooooooooooot about it 3. Apply solutions learned to overcome it or manage it enough for both spouses 4. Take responsibility for your half without the unsexy blame game 5. Accept uncontrollables Or throw in the towel. Plenty of marriages are not meant to be. Why is that? Because one or both spouses is unwilling or uninterested in executing the plan above. P.S. Kids save alot of marriages because parents are willing to work much harder on their marriage for the sake of the children. Other forces that seem less powerful but with similar influence. A. Religion B. Pride C. Financial intertwining D. Values

Put the internet to work for you. via Personal Recipe 2629979