newly married and unhappy

I've been married for two months. We're both 30. I got married way too fast, and even though I knew it was too fast and tried to slow down a few times before it happened, I got caught up in the infatuation and got married anyway. I read a line a few threads down about how saying "I do" implies that one can..... and I think it's fair to say that I'm one of those who can't. I hadn't dated for years before meeting my husband, because I suck at relationships. I told him I'm bad at this, and that I've got screwed up emotional perception/regulation problems that would make his life as miserable as mine is, and he stuck around anyway. Any psycho should be so lucky to have someone who wants to love them anyway, right? I lost sight of my better judgment over that, and now we're married. We fought horribly our entire honeymoon. We're talking the kind of fight where one person ends up curled up in the fetal position on the floor while the other finds themselves almost catatonic on a couch from the awfulness of it all. We haven't stopped since. Now I can't remember anything positive at all about this relationship, and I want out. I've told him this. I feel like the marriage has just been terrible for both of us. He's a good person, and he's just as unhappy as I am. I don't feel understood or accepted because he's always reading too much into what I say, or how I say it. (Me: Someday, I'm going to live in a house with a professional grade kitchen. Him: Don't you mean WE are going to live there? Me: I imagine. -FIGHT ENSUES OVER MY USE OF THE WORD IMAGINE or the fact that I smiled the wrong way when I said it. I'm from a family with Asperger's and autism all over the place, and these sorts of semantic/body language/inflection battles just aren't anything I'm equipped to deal with. I say what I mean.) He feels rejected and unloved - and honestly, I'm so beaten down by the constant fighting that he's perfectly justified in feeling that way. I don't even feel like we're friends anym ore, and he's expecting this touchy feely bride even with all the fights. He's said horrible things to me that I can't forget hearing, and I've walked out on him multiple times. We don't have the same ideas of what love should be, and in fact, our needs are in direct opposition to each other. This is a powderkeg, not a relationship! I'm resentful, angry, bitter, and sad; I'd rather just go back to living alone with my damn cats and forget about this whole failed experiment. I've told him that I want out, but he won't just agree that this is a mess and call it quits amicably before things get worse. He wants to fight it out, unsurprisingly, and seems to think that things will just somehow get better at some point. If I'm going to get divorced, he's going to make me do it the hard way. Today, I told him that I'm more than willing to do so unless he goes to counseling with me. He agreed to do so, but not after telling me that I'm only "forcing" him to go to marriage counseling to punish him because he doesn't want a divorce. I'm pretty sure that's a clear sign that counseling isn't going to work anyway, but I don't see that we have any other hope at all. This is a disaster, and I'm really starting to wonder if either of us are going to survive being married to each other at all. It sure seems like one of us is going to drop dead from the pain and suffering any moment now. :( Marriage sucks.

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