Hello
I am 19 and recently found out I am 6 and a half weeks pregnant from a one night stand. I did not set out to have a one night stand but I am not naive enough to think that this man wants more. I know sex was all it was and that was fine and he has said this to me. He is 28 and already has a 5 year old daughter.
I am a student at university and have just finished my first year, but I have moved back home with my parent's and will be taking my second year at the uni in my home town. I understand being a student and a mother will be hard both financially and emotionally but I have spoken to my mum, although disappointed she has said she will support me in what ever I do. Financially they are both stable (both are solicitors) and emotionally I know they will do their best to help me however they can. The father of the child is a professional rugby player although I can't have the expectation that he will help out because I doubt that very much.
I told the man I was pregnant over text because we live 3 hours away (as I moved home from uni he lives in London which is where I went to uni) he was calm about it and told me it would all be okay and all I needed to do was go to the doctors and get two pills and it would be over with. I kept changing the subject as I didn't like the fact he didn't ask me what I wanted to do and he then asked me if I was okay to get the abortion. I explained that I didn't know how I felt.
He told me that he understood and he is pro life (he's Catholic) but in these situations its horrible and bringing a child in to the world from a one nighter is a horrible way of bringing life in to the world. He said that at 6 weeks the baby is smaller than a poppy seed and its not turned in to a baby yet but it is just cells that are waiting to turn in to a baby. He said that he can not have another baby out of wedlock and doesn't want two children by two different woman and doesn't want to be a bad parent. He said we cab't have a kid together when he don't know each other.
I explained that I did understand what he was saying but I didn't share the same views and that I would consider abortion but I am not giving him my guarantee. He said that I need to think quickly before it turns in to a baby as he said if I was two weeks further on then he wouldn't tell me to get an abortion as he wouldn't agree with it any longer. I have told him I need a week or so to think and he keeps saying a week is to long.
I asked what would happen if I kept the child and he asked me if it was a threat, I explained it wasn't and I just needed his view. He said well obviously if that's what I want then he can't do anything about it but he wouldn't feel strongly about the baby because of how it was created and he can't imagine telling anyone. I told him about the idea of adoption and he said if I did do that then he would have to assume I got an abortion as he couldn't give his baby away to strangers. He said if I did choose to get an abortion he would come down and get a hotel for himself so he could come to the doctors with me and has said he will do all the talking if that's what I want, he has even canceled going to Thailand this week because of this situation.
Yesterday I paid for an early scan to check I was the correct gestation (there was a minor possibility I was over 17 weeks pregnant as I had protected sex with someone else 17 weeks ago but didn't expect to be as it was protected and had periods etc) it confirmed I was just over 6 weeks. It had a little heartbeat too. I messaged him and said I had been for my scan and baby has a heartbeat too, i would think about abortion but right now im just lost and he messaged me back saying "ok please keep me updated and if you need anything let me know"
I have very strong morals and beliefs on abortion, whilst no one can justify their opinion on a subject that isn't definitive I personally believe it isn't right, especially after seeing the little heart beat I just can't do it. I do not know how to tell him this or how he will re act to this news?
Put the internet to work for you.
No comments:
Post a Comment