Right so I live and work with a girl in my halls, and we're living together next year. I literally love her, the only thing is she can sometimes be SO RUDE AND CLINGY.
Like if I'm going to hangout with my friends, she will always ask to come, and even if I don't make any implication it's open invite, she will always just assume shes coming. Like if my friends upset about boys, she will just ask to come too, even if its something personal like that - its quite weird? She can be quite mean to me about my looks aswell, and I am pretty happy with myself, i know im a little chubby but i have a boyfriend and friends who love me so i dont really care. I know she only comments on what i eat and my makeup because she personally has low self esteem, but its really not fair that she always puts me down and i have to deal with her burdens and baggage 24/7. I feel mean saying it :(
Me and one of our friends have kind of said to her before that you cant really just invite yourself to things, and do the socially wrong things she does, especially when you dont really know the people involved - but she genuinely doesn't understand the problem..
It sounds so rude of me and mean, but I live and work with her, and once we get home she always comes into my room. I really really just need my space. Like she will just always always text me asking where I am and who I'm with, and when ill be home etc. She never acts jealous or seems jealous about me not being with her and being with other people - so I know its not like that, shes just so full on. If im with my boyfriend, and i dont reply, she will always come and knock on my door.. its so strange and awkward for me and it makes me look weird aswell as her.
I'm used to a huge group of friends back home but she always says she has no friends and never had - so I know its just that shes not used to having friends and being around someone so much so she's really full on. She always says how shes really envious that i have a lot of friends and a boyfriend, so i feel bad if i ever dont invite her because i know shes lonely but i really do need time away from her.
It's so exhausting and I end up resenting her sometimes because she needs to much attention and my time is always ruined because no one wants to talk to her and i always have to, and then shes rude to me and other people and im like okay well screw you... My uni friends find her so annoying and rude because she's quite socially weird (like inviting herself to things, eating other peoples food, says quite hurtful things and digs at people) but once you see past that shes is fine, its just that they dont spend all the time i do with her to see past that - and they dont want to.
I dont know what to do, i dont just want her to cling to me 24/7 next year, it will be so awful. But ive tried saying to her subtly that i think shes too full on with people but i honestly think theres something socially wrong with her so she doesn't understand WHY she can't do these things...
I feel like she thinks i am always leaving her out, because i go and hang out with my friends and dont invite her - but she is not in my uni group of friends, and when I do ask her to come they all moan and then she does rude weird things and i can understand why!!! Like the first time i invited her to come out with us, she got completely wasted and made a massive **** out of her self and then had sex with one of the boys - and she just made an awful first impression and now they are all put off her.. rightly so. I know its a self esteem thing but urghhhhhh it just sucks so much for me. I know its really selfish of me but sometimes i do need to think of myself :(
i dont want to fall out and hurt her feelings, but i feel she needs directions on how to act like a normal human?!?! I cant tell her my friends dont like her, but i dont want to keep leaving her out...... I just dont know what to do!!!!!!
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