One rule we've followed - almost without exception - is to never go to bed angry with one another. No matter how mad or hurt or disgusted we might get with each other, we ALWAYS discuss it in bed or before bed. Air all grievances.
Corollary is this - don't say something hurtful just to get a point across or be hurtful. So before bed we hug and work things out - and usually decide less said is better.
We used to have 1 or 2 "idiot arguments" each year. Afterword - we would acknowledge that is what it was. And laugh. Usually doesn't mean much at all - just one person trying to be right.
Its easy to avoid resentment if you have your say before bed. The build up of resentment is probably the #1 reason for marital problems so avoid it at all costs. It is a disease - it is rust - it corrodes the foundation of marriage.
I recently read of another couple that have to argue naked. They find it is hard to stay mad in the bedroom naked. I'm not ready to go that far - we are in our 50's for crying out loud - but the point is a good one.
Good luck!
Corollary is this - don't say something hurtful just to get a point across or be hurtful. So before bed we hug and work things out - and usually decide less said is better.
We used to have 1 or 2 "idiot arguments" each year. Afterword - we would acknowledge that is what it was. And laugh. Usually doesn't mean much at all - just one person trying to be right.
Its easy to avoid resentment if you have your say before bed. The build up of resentment is probably the #1 reason for marital problems so avoid it at all costs. It is a disease - it is rust - it corrodes the foundation of marriage.
I recently read of another couple that have to argue naked. They find it is hard to stay mad in the bedroom naked. I'm not ready to go that far - we are in our 50's for crying out loud - but the point is a good one.
Good luck!
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