My husband doesn't see any issue with our sexless marriage. I personally go through an emotional cycle with each dry spell. Hurt and feeling rejected/unwanted, panic and trying to figure out why, anger/resentment, and finally distraction. I have talked to him until I have nothing more I can say to get my feelings across, he makes promises that he will "try" and finally him stop trying after a few weeks. Our dry spells can last for weeks to months (once a couple of years).
The emotional cycle is inevitable for me and the only thing I can do is try to get it to distraction as quickly as I can. I have found over the last few cycles is I get stuck in the hurt/rejection mode or anger mode and can't move on. I have found a little payback is the only thing to make me move forward. I am not talking about anything permanently damaging like an affair. I know it is childish and petty but it makes me feel better.
For example, my husband prefers tv over sex. I recently was looking on the schedule of shows to record over the next couple weeks and saw a huge amount of new ones set to record. Now these are not sports or movies but shows about cars or other subjects that really don't have a storyline to follow. I just looked at these shows and saw more countless reasons he can use to avoid me. My first instinct was I am not going to compete with these freakin shows and set them all to temporarily not record. That felt so good and now I feel over that hump.
I know payback isn't the PC thing to do in a marriage but sitting here giving him the middle finger from the next room isn't cutting it.
The emotional cycle is inevitable for me and the only thing I can do is try to get it to distraction as quickly as I can. I have found over the last few cycles is I get stuck in the hurt/rejection mode or anger mode and can't move on. I have found a little payback is the only thing to make me move forward. I am not talking about anything permanently damaging like an affair. I know it is childish and petty but it makes me feel better.
For example, my husband prefers tv over sex. I recently was looking on the schedule of shows to record over the next couple weeks and saw a huge amount of new ones set to record. Now these are not sports or movies but shows about cars or other subjects that really don't have a storyline to follow. I just looked at these shows and saw more countless reasons he can use to avoid me. My first instinct was I am not going to compete with these freakin shows and set them all to temporarily not record. That felt so good and now I feel over that hump.
I know payback isn't the PC thing to do in a marriage but sitting here giving him the middle finger from the next room isn't cutting it.
Put the internet to work for you.
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