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Why these thoughts...

This is something I haven't been admitting to myself, but the thoughts have been crossing my mind. My ex-wife and I have lodged our papers but it's taking longer than expected. In the meantime, over the course of our seperation I've developed a deep respect for her, and even though our interactions have been limited, I can see she has matured.

When I do see her, what we had -> it's dead. I no longer see it in her eyes, hear it in her speech, or feel it with her friendly touches. But looking back she was a good wife. I complained about the dumbest things and then just made it worse and then complained again, over and over again. She still held onto our marriage until the very end, until I kicked her fingers off that is.

So... the thoughts come, and the pride that made me harden towards her enough to push forward the divorce, well... it can only shut up these thoughts for so long. It's time I address it. What are these thoughts? Are these normal? What is your advice?

Logically, I think it's best we remain friends, but never like best-friends like we were once. Our relationship took a big hit with marriage/divorce but it seems we are healing, and growing, even if growing apart. Bah! What the hell are these thoughts?

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