Please help me with all your opinions please. I am seriously thinking about divorce with a 2 year old.
This situation is thus, I fell in love with someone who claimed to be taking care of his elderly father while working at a gallery part- time. This is where I met him. I too never really held on long to a full time position also spending most of my time in the arts. Still, I always taught art and worked on some type of "project" show or curatorial project.
We moved into together and I fell pregnant. The only house we could afford was 45 min from his part time job. Of course he complained and raged when he came home, very different from living in his father's million dollar townhouse blocks from the gallery. As it was he went for a promotion at work and was in consequence pushed out for embarrassing the director, his mother was the former director who I never met, god rest her soul. So his part time job was lost, 25k which we barely could live on. His father was writing him checks from the house but before the house sold, literally he and I would scrounge around for food , while I was pregnant and when we had a new born baby. I was humiliated. So, I frantically found him jobs and he applied to a place around where we use to live and got it, but I am not sure it was a real job because he lost it four months later. Before that though, I sensed the insecurity of the job and applied to a job and yes got it, thank god. I make 40k par t time but it is not enough to rent an apartment where we live. I need 40k more. Luckily his father's townhouse sold and his dad gave us gifts of cash of 13 k increments. I do not have wealthy parents, if someone gives you a huge check, my instinct is to save that, put away for college, travel etc. put of course it went to monthly come. Check after check came and went to my horror. Still, no job. I send him jobs, I built him a website, I did his cover letters, and he got interviews but no score.
Our daughter is now two. I am drowning taking care of applications, work, and bills. He takes care of our daughter when she is home and that is not an easy job, I know, but if I can find a job at home with an infant, why not him? He manipulates the past and says he contributed much and conveniently doesn't remember the horrors of living out in the country, pregnant, alone, poor and with him. I resent working while he stays at home with our daughter. I resent I do not have time to draw. I resent his manipulation and excuses and lies and lack of ambition. I know it is depressing to go to interviews and flunk them but what can you do? One has to keep going. We were suppose to grow together, but he is not growing. Things have become very toxic between us. Very. I asked him for a divorce but of course where can he go? His father is now with his brother. Why doesn't he ask his father for money and move out? I accept the big task of raising our daughter alone. I can do it,..I think. .. But the fighting around our daughter every weekend I am home and only want peace I am faced by a large, bitter and angry man... He is driving me crazy..please help. How to file for divorce if he won't leave? I am not cruel. I hope god gives him a job so he can find his own place and be a man his daughter can respect. He is 51. I am 37.Surely he must have more ability than I to be independent?
This situation is thus, I fell in love with someone who claimed to be taking care of his elderly father while working at a gallery part- time. This is where I met him. I too never really held on long to a full time position also spending most of my time in the arts. Still, I always taught art and worked on some type of "project" show or curatorial project.
We moved into together and I fell pregnant. The only house we could afford was 45 min from his part time job. Of course he complained and raged when he came home, very different from living in his father's million dollar townhouse blocks from the gallery. As it was he went for a promotion at work and was in consequence pushed out for embarrassing the director, his mother was the former director who I never met, god rest her soul. So his part time job was lost, 25k which we barely could live on. His father was writing him checks from the house but before the house sold, literally he and I would scrounge around for food , while I was pregnant and when we had a new born baby. I was humiliated. So, I frantically found him jobs and he applied to a place around where we use to live and got it, but I am not sure it was a real job because he lost it four months later. Before that though, I sensed the insecurity of the job and applied to a job and yes got it, thank god. I make 40k par t time but it is not enough to rent an apartment where we live. I need 40k more. Luckily his father's townhouse sold and his dad gave us gifts of cash of 13 k increments. I do not have wealthy parents, if someone gives you a huge check, my instinct is to save that, put away for college, travel etc. put of course it went to monthly come. Check after check came and went to my horror. Still, no job. I send him jobs, I built him a website, I did his cover letters, and he got interviews but no score.
Our daughter is now two. I am drowning taking care of applications, work, and bills. He takes care of our daughter when she is home and that is not an easy job, I know, but if I can find a job at home with an infant, why not him? He manipulates the past and says he contributed much and conveniently doesn't remember the horrors of living out in the country, pregnant, alone, poor and with him. I resent working while he stays at home with our daughter. I resent I do not have time to draw. I resent his manipulation and excuses and lies and lack of ambition. I know it is depressing to go to interviews and flunk them but what can you do? One has to keep going. We were suppose to grow together, but he is not growing. Things have become very toxic between us. Very. I asked him for a divorce but of course where can he go? His father is now with his brother. Why doesn't he ask his father for money and move out? I accept the big task of raising our daughter alone. I can do it,..I think. .. But the fighting around our daughter every weekend I am home and only want peace I am faced by a large, bitter and angry man... He is driving me crazy..please help. How to file for divorce if he won't leave? I am not cruel. I hope god gives him a job so he can find his own place and be a man his daughter can respect. He is 51. I am 37.Surely he must have more ability than I to be independent?
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