Ok...so have read a LOT of posts about the entire HD/LD and sexless marriage issue.
It is PAINFUL. I know - I am in that group.
But it hits me...MANY of the people on here who are HD ...are desperate for an understanding. A key to the riddles. It is VISCERAL the pain.
I think many are caught in between NOT wanting to leave - and NOT wanting to live like this anymore.
SO - there are the ultimate (and hard to even have the courage to seek out) questions that ...if one goes for long enough... just NEED to have the answers to so as to better make the real decision on what to do.
Is it that my LD spouse just does not like, want, or care enough about having, sex.
Or - is it US that she does not want to have sex WITH?
Then - when we find out that ...perhaps ...we can at least assess whether or not this situation can be accommodated, helped, fixed.
So my question is... HOW can you figure out? How can you best discern?
It seems as though a lot of LD's would rather not even DISCUSS the issue. And IF they do...either by choice or by reality...offer very little for the HD's to go on toward deciding which of the above it actually is.
I really believe that if THIS riddle is solved...then as painful as it may be...MANY HD's would be able to address and decide what to do.
And for all those..who say ...hey I dont need to deep understanding...as it does not really matter. The reality is + no sex forthcoming. I am done.
Well...I tip my hat to you. (sort of). But please understand. There are (for guys like me) some pretty big other considerations.
Marriage. Family. Children. Past. Present. Future.
So for all you LD's and HD's out there...put out there the very best tips/tools/strategies for getting the REAL answer.
Thoughts?
It is PAINFUL. I know - I am in that group.
But it hits me...MANY of the people on here who are HD ...are desperate for an understanding. A key to the riddles. It is VISCERAL the pain.
I think many are caught in between NOT wanting to leave - and NOT wanting to live like this anymore.
SO - there are the ultimate (and hard to even have the courage to seek out) questions that ...if one goes for long enough... just NEED to have the answers to so as to better make the real decision on what to do.
Is it that my LD spouse just does not like, want, or care enough about having, sex.
Or - is it US that she does not want to have sex WITH?
Then - when we find out that ...perhaps ...we can at least assess whether or not this situation can be accommodated, helped, fixed.
So my question is... HOW can you figure out? How can you best discern?
It seems as though a lot of LD's would rather not even DISCUSS the issue. And IF they do...either by choice or by reality...offer very little for the HD's to go on toward deciding which of the above it actually is.
I really believe that if THIS riddle is solved...then as painful as it may be...MANY HD's would be able to address and decide what to do.
And for all those..who say ...hey I dont need to deep understanding...as it does not really matter. The reality is + no sex forthcoming. I am done.
Well...I tip my hat to you. (sort of). But please understand. There are (for guys like me) some pretty big other considerations.
Marriage. Family. Children. Past. Present. Future.
So for all you LD's and HD's out there...put out there the very best tips/tools/strategies for getting the REAL answer.
Thoughts?
Put the internet to work for you.
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