So I constantly feel as if I am the only one in our marriage that wants to have sex. I almost feel as if I am begging or pushing a wet noodle at times and then when I initiate - I also feel like I am being judged for everything I do - when it seems as if I am the only one doing the doing .
I keep looking in the mirror and asking what I can do better. Who can I become where this shifts..?
I was wondering if I should perhaps stop initiating with my wife to see if she actually initiates with me and see how long it takes. It's been years - it seems - while I am the only one interested it always seems like shes tired or I have to drag it out of her .
Frankly I a bit turned off now - because I almost feel like I have to get her in the mood, drive it and I probably get rejected 7 out of 10 times when I do initiate and in the last year I have now fallen into stopping myself before I even start - thinking what is the point ?
Should I try not initiating or starting with her and keep myself pre-occupied with something else in the meantime just to see what happens with her ? I dont want to be a charity case where she has sex with me just because I want it ...yet she's not INTO it .
We have discussed this several times, she expressed her libido is low and she doesnt have desire like before .. and when discussed it she has been suggested a few times to go get testing or get a check up just to make sure she is healthy which doesnt seem a priority .. I dont even want to force her to go to a doctor because I have asked her 3-4 times over the last year ..
Again I am looking for it to be her idea vs making her do it .
Would laying off on on initiating help her - ?
I dont know ...?? I am attractive , in the last year have lost 30 lbs and become cut and she gives me positive comments every week now however - I cant make her see something unless she wants to see it ..
I would love to hear any advice . I have gone through NMMNG and MMLSP as well , still working on all of this. I am the one that reads all the books on intimacy and relationship. This past week she told me that she feels like I work harder on our relationship than she does .. that she just seems to focus on work and forgets everything else ....
Hmm... What to do ?
I keep looking in the mirror and asking what I can do better. Who can I become where this shifts..?
I was wondering if I should perhaps stop initiating with my wife to see if she actually initiates with me and see how long it takes. It's been years - it seems - while I am the only one interested it always seems like shes tired or I have to drag it out of her .
Frankly I a bit turned off now - because I almost feel like I have to get her in the mood, drive it and I probably get rejected 7 out of 10 times when I do initiate and in the last year I have now fallen into stopping myself before I even start - thinking what is the point ?
Should I try not initiating or starting with her and keep myself pre-occupied with something else in the meantime just to see what happens with her ? I dont want to be a charity case where she has sex with me just because I want it ...yet she's not INTO it .
We have discussed this several times, she expressed her libido is low and she doesnt have desire like before .. and when discussed it she has been suggested a few times to go get testing or get a check up just to make sure she is healthy which doesnt seem a priority .. I dont even want to force her to go to a doctor because I have asked her 3-4 times over the last year ..
Again I am looking for it to be her idea vs making her do it .
Would laying off on on initiating help her - ?
I dont know ...?? I am attractive , in the last year have lost 30 lbs and become cut and she gives me positive comments every week now however - I cant make her see something unless she wants to see it ..
I would love to hear any advice . I have gone through NMMNG and MMLSP as well , still working on all of this. I am the one that reads all the books on intimacy and relationship. This past week she told me that she feels like I work harder on our relationship than she does .. that she just seems to focus on work and forgets everything else ....
Hmm... What to do ?
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