So me and my boyfriend, (1.5 years and counting) are in this amazing relationship.
He is a mixed raced (jamaican and polish) christian and I am a south asian muslim. We are very much in love, so we've decided to take precautions such as thinking about the future, precisely when I introduce him to my family. He hasn't introduced me to his family as his girlfriend just yet, only as someone he really likes and I like him back. The reaosn being as to why he hasn't is because I haven't introduced him to my family, not even as a friend and if his mum finds out this is the case, she wouldn't really be too fond on our relationship as she would feel her son isn't good enough for my family.
I'm not sure if many people know, but south asians tend to be really strict with sticking to their culture. I am bangladeshi, majority bengalis look down on interracial relationships, the more modern individuals are much more lenient however muslim bengalis areSTRICTLY are against people of their own kind to be in a relationship with a non-muslim.
My boyfriends mum doesn't have an issue with me being muslim, it's just concerning my family wouldn't accept him simply because he's not muslim.
I don't have a father, my mum and I don't have a great relationship. I have an older brother who, along with my mother, would most definitely be against this.
Me and my boyfriend do think about this quite a lot, well everyday.
I have been diagnosed with depression and anxiety, and thinking about stuff like this, not being able to come up initiative is really frustrating and isn't really helping with my health.
I love him, I really do. I've been going through a very rough time ever since my father passed, even before that I've had many family problems nearly my whole life and with all honesty I can say my boyfriend has been the best thing that has ever happened in my life.
I wouldn't want anyone to take my happiness from me.
Some of the stuff we both suggested are mentioned are below, they all have their pros and cons:
- I don't know if 'elope' is the correct term, but since his family wouldn't have a problem with me, I suggested I should elope (btw not now, we're talking about in say, 5 years time when we're both financially stable. Within those 5 years keep my relationship with him a secret from both our family. His mum could continue to know we're 'just friends who really like one another') The cons in this are it is very risky. Say after I 'elope' we break up? I told him I'd be able to live my life independently as I've always aspired to do so, however he said he wouldn't be able to live with the guilt. Even if we didn't break up, he'd still feel guilty I left my family for him. I told him at the end of the day, it would be my choice, but even so he doesn't seem too keen with this idea
-He converts into Islam. He suggested this, not me. From both our religious perspective, I seem to be more focused on my religion than he is with his. I may not be the best muslim, but I still set boundaries for myself. Whereas he openly admitted he's "only christian by name". This plan would work in terms of keeping it cool with my family, but it would be very problematic with his as his parents would know he's only converting for the sake of making my family proud. He did mention his parents wouldn't attempt to break us up though, it would just be very awkward between his family and me and obviously my family.
-This last idea was not discussed with my boyfriend, I kept this one to myself as I know it would be the last thing he'd want to hear. As I've mentioned earlier, my health isn't so great and it hasn't been for a very long time. I would be very reluctant in doing so, but if there is literally no hope I think i should break up with him, the sooner the better so the heartache won't be as bad. This might sound really selfish, but if you understood my medical condition and how it treats me, the amount of medication I have to take maybe then you'd understand.
So please feel free to give me any suggestions, ideas and advice.
I really want this to work and would be truly devastated if there's no solution but to resort into breaking up
Put the internet to work for you.
No comments:
Post a Comment