I don't even know what is going on here, i've tried to seek advice before but all anyone says is "leave her"
I want to understand what is wrong with her, or happening to her. She has lived a troubled life and has a recent trauma which she refused to tell me involving her family.
She has anxiety, depression and in the past bi-polar.
At first when she had an "episode" it was in public and she humiliated me by shouting and crying, pushing me away and storming off. This was the first hint she was unwell, when I told her she'd better explain herself if she ever wanted to see me again she was apologetic and came round, we had sex and I thought it was resolved, she confessed she had mental illness in the past and claimed her recent episode was the result of an attempted rape she had endured the night before.
So I accepted this and thought it would be fine, and we dated a bit more, for about 2 months until all of a sudden she had another episode, this time she tried to cut me out, completely out of the blue. I called her and she was in such a state.
So I went to see her, and all that happened, long story short was she refused to touch me, kiss me or anything. I wondered if this was some kind of elaborate way of breaking up with me; to be honest i'd have not even minded it that much if she did, what is hard is that she says she likes me yet, treats me like she doesn't. She refused any kind of physical contact, and she was the person who invited me round to hers!
Her face, blank, and devoid of any positive emotion, she barely spoke. Anything she said awash in negativity, she began to almost blame me for her anxiety, saying that "I build myself up and then you come, and i feel so anxious" she said she can't touch me because of the anxiety.
she then started shouting at me when I said "Are you sure you even like me", i have said this many times before because i've been confused and she angrily says "Yes, you wouldn't be here if I didn't i'm just so anxious around you"
I don't understand what is going on here...
My friends tell me to leave her, but our time before all of this mental illness stuff happened was so great i don't want too. After the last time I saw her it got kind of intense with her yelling at me to get out her house. I sent her a text saying I know she's having a tough time, that i'm glad despite it being almost impossible to have a relationship that she tries and that I hope she doesn't stop trying, and reassuring her that I wont.
She didn't reply back to me, it's been 2 days, in the past after an episode she might take a week or so to get back to me, i'm fairly sure when she calms down she will, and we will probably be alright again (I hope)
but what is wrong with her, especially this "no touching" thing, someone with experience of anxiety please explain this to me.
Put the internet to work for you.
No comments:
Post a Comment