So I've been seeing this girl for nearly three years now, and most recently we have felt a change. I've been at university for the past two years, now entering my last semester, whilst she has only just started her University course (as she took a gap year).
Last night we were talking, and we both mentioned how things have changed between us over the last two months. Both of us couldn't really describe what it was that had changed, but she noted that we both had different career aspirations (I want to become a city lawyer, whilst she wants to be a care worker).
I also believe she thinks differently of me now, due to my opinion on marriage. I told her I'd love to be married one day, but it would have to be when I'm about 28-30 years old, as I didn't feel quite ready to settle down and have kids (I'm 21 at the moment, with her being 20). On top of that, I've been very lucky to see a happy marriage between my parents, but have seen relationships which are effectively 'marriages of convenience' (i.e. to protect the kids; because its less costly; because divorce is hassle etc etc). I said to my girlfriend that I wouldn't want to live in a marriage where the effort is gone, and that both individuals are undervalued by one another.
She didn't seem too happy about this, as she has always wanted to be married and have kids from the age of 25-26, plus on top of that, her mum keeps mentioning it to her to have kids, as my girlfriend told me she needs to feel like she has a purpose in life (as all of her other siblings are growing up). Therefore, last night, she was ridiculously quiet with me.
We've both agreed to wait a while to see how things work out.
Would you believe that this is the right way to move forward?
Last night we were talking, and we both mentioned how things have changed between us over the last two months. Both of us couldn't really describe what it was that had changed, but she noted that we both had different career aspirations (I want to become a city lawyer, whilst she wants to be a care worker).
I also believe she thinks differently of me now, due to my opinion on marriage. I told her I'd love to be married one day, but it would have to be when I'm about 28-30 years old, as I didn't feel quite ready to settle down and have kids (I'm 21 at the moment, with her being 20). On top of that, I've been very lucky to see a happy marriage between my parents, but have seen relationships which are effectively 'marriages of convenience' (i.e. to protect the kids; because its less costly; because divorce is hassle etc etc). I said to my girlfriend that I wouldn't want to live in a marriage where the effort is gone, and that both individuals are undervalued by one another.
She didn't seem too happy about this, as she has always wanted to be married and have kids from the age of 25-26, plus on top of that, her mum keeps mentioning it to her to have kids, as my girlfriend told me she needs to feel like she has a purpose in life (as all of her other siblings are growing up). Therefore, last night, she was ridiculously quiet with me.
We've both agreed to wait a while to see how things work out.
Would you believe that this is the right way to move forward?
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