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How long to give rollercoaster?

Hey everyone,

Not my first time on this board, but I no longer had access to my old email, so it's a new name.


I'll try to be as brief as possible... We got married right after college graduation, been together for 9 years now (married for 5 years in June). We've always fought back and forth, but for the most part we get along great. She has always been very controlling, to the point of where I hardly even ask to see my family now because it's not worth the fights that occur any time other people get to play with our kids (Now 3.5 and 1 year old).

Almost exactly a year ago I came on here looking for help. The best advice I had gotten on here was to give it time. Give it my best for 6 months and see how things improve. I would do this and things would get better, but then she resorts back to randomly yelling at me for the silliest things. The word "Rollercoaster" describes our marriage perfectly. She cusses at me in front of the kids and in general just makes me feel like crap. But besides how she treats me, she is a great mom and I could never take the kids away from her. He has said, multiple times, "you will never get the kids if we divorce," and that would kill me. In fact, not being able to be with my kids every day is the main reason we are still married.

Kind of the blow up point for me... Last night I saw the best man of our wedding for the first time in a year. This was also only the second time in the past year I would have gone out to do anything without her. She "allowed" me to go out, on the condition that I put our 1 year old to sleep first. By the time she finally fell asleep, it was already an hour after I told him we could meet. Then, literally 45 minutes after I met up with him, she sends me a text saying "Where the hell are you? I have to put (our other daughter) to sleep on my own. This is f*ing ridiculous." Before I could even reply, she sent on "I just want you to, for once in your damn life, show me you love me and want to be with me."

All I could really muster to say was "Are you being serious?"

To which she replied "You'll never take me serious until the day I walk out and find a man who will actually treat me like a human being."


I mean...call me crazy, but that's not normal... is it???


I feel so beaten down that I don't fight any more. I just lower my head and try to tune everything out.

I HATE more than anything in the world thinking about my daughters hearing their mom call me a "f*ing idiot" in front of their faces (that time for getting mustard on her hamburger).

Is it worth the emotional distress that our relationship could potentially cause the kids just so I can be with them every day? Has anyone had similar issues??

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