Basically venting as I'm stubborn and will come to my own decision one way or another….But sometimes I know that I need a kick in the behind. Long as I wait too long to vent, lol
It's nothing like a relationship to show you who you are. The truth is that it's been a rocky 6 months. I have ZERO desire to carry, change or beg another. My feeling is that at our ages we should have learned some lessons of life and should be aspiring to do better. I have ZERO desire to be a nagger or complainer. I don't mind doing the work but I can't do it alone. If something bothers me, I will mention something once or twice and usually put it in writing, if nothing changes, then I assume the person doesn't care or desire to change. I know that I don't have any power to change another.
The constant question in my head, what did I get in to? What did I miss? Why am I here? What the heck happened?
It's different living with someone than when you are dating. It's easier to hide things when you are dating and have separate busy lives. When we were dating, I was busy and had lots going on so when we were together he was very attentive, very helpful, very sweet.
I figured if I was going to get married I would gain a partner. I wasn't looking for anyone to take care of me, fill a hole, etc. I would gain an equal partner to share things with. I didn't lack anything. When we were dating it was just that we shared our spare time together and helped each other with whatever needed done and had good times.
After marriage, only six month in, slowly but surely, it's like I've gained another child verses a partner. I've mentioned these thing like I said in writing usually and things would change for a short time but revert back and actually getting worse.
-He was keeping the house in order during day as he works from home. Laundry was done and put away daily. We do together more heavy cleaning on weekend. Not anymore, now I'm doing most of it alone. Even with small projects, he now sits or lays on the couch gaming or playing on computer & let me do most of the work alone.
-Would cook or be interested in helping cook meals in the kitchen together. Now, if I don't plan or cook we don't eat a meal from home.
-I'm expected to have the plan for weekends or time together. He doesn't plan anymore, use too.
-Gaming got super better now back to gaming obsessively. I walk in house from work, he may or may not acknowledge me. Will stop to eat if I cook. Will say something here or there to me. Not cold but obsessed with collecting points on a game from 5 to 10 every night. Weekends, if we aren't doing something, he's gaming. At bedtime 10 after turning off game, he expects cuddle time, talking time and intimacy. I'm ready to go to sleep at that time and irritated. I am not a robot with an on and off switch!!!
-He tells me he was attracted to the fact that I managed my life so well and got things done without much help. That's fine but don't now put all your crap and responsibilities on me, it makes me resent you, ok!!
Ok, I'm done for now. I feel a bit better, lol. He probably has a list too just as long as how I've shocked him!
It's hard co-mingling to very independent lives after 40 the second go around :)
It's nothing like a relationship to show you who you are. The truth is that it's been a rocky 6 months. I have ZERO desire to carry, change or beg another. My feeling is that at our ages we should have learned some lessons of life and should be aspiring to do better. I have ZERO desire to be a nagger or complainer. I don't mind doing the work but I can't do it alone. If something bothers me, I will mention something once or twice and usually put it in writing, if nothing changes, then I assume the person doesn't care or desire to change. I know that I don't have any power to change another.
The constant question in my head, what did I get in to? What did I miss? Why am I here? What the heck happened?
It's different living with someone than when you are dating. It's easier to hide things when you are dating and have separate busy lives. When we were dating, I was busy and had lots going on so when we were together he was very attentive, very helpful, very sweet.
I figured if I was going to get married I would gain a partner. I wasn't looking for anyone to take care of me, fill a hole, etc. I would gain an equal partner to share things with. I didn't lack anything. When we were dating it was just that we shared our spare time together and helped each other with whatever needed done and had good times.
After marriage, only six month in, slowly but surely, it's like I've gained another child verses a partner. I've mentioned these thing like I said in writing usually and things would change for a short time but revert back and actually getting worse.
-He was keeping the house in order during day as he works from home. Laundry was done and put away daily. We do together more heavy cleaning on weekend. Not anymore, now I'm doing most of it alone. Even with small projects, he now sits or lays on the couch gaming or playing on computer & let me do most of the work alone.
-Would cook or be interested in helping cook meals in the kitchen together. Now, if I don't plan or cook we don't eat a meal from home.
-I'm expected to have the plan for weekends or time together. He doesn't plan anymore, use too.
-Gaming got super better now back to gaming obsessively. I walk in house from work, he may or may not acknowledge me. Will stop to eat if I cook. Will say something here or there to me. Not cold but obsessed with collecting points on a game from 5 to 10 every night. Weekends, if we aren't doing something, he's gaming. At bedtime 10 after turning off game, he expects cuddle time, talking time and intimacy. I'm ready to go to sleep at that time and irritated. I am not a robot with an on and off switch!!!
-He tells me he was attracted to the fact that I managed my life so well and got things done without much help. That's fine but don't now put all your crap and responsibilities on me, it makes me resent you, ok!!
Ok, I'm done for now. I feel a bit better, lol. He probably has a list too just as long as how I've shocked him!
It's hard co-mingling to very independent lives after 40 the second go around :)
Put the internet to work for you.
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