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Frustrated by Wifes lack of desire

I have been with my wife for over 20yrs and have always had a higher sex drive but the last few years it feels like I have to beg for it and if I ask to much she gets mad. It also seems like it has to be the perfect time when their is no kids home or every one is asleep. We were separated a few years ago and were able to get back together and through counseling agreed to make more time for each other both in and out of the bedroom. For the first year I would push to make the plans for movies or dinner but for the last year their is always some reason why we cant get away together. Sex has also been a problem as I really would like to have sex 4-5 times a month and I am lucky to have sex twice a month and sometimes less. I feel like if I did not bring it up or ask when we can have some time together she would be fine with not having it at all. I really need some help as I don't know what to do because when I try to talk with her about it she shuts me down or gets mad. :(

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