First of all, thanks to those who gave advice to my previous issue..it is difficult to reply via mobile phone.
Now, straight to the question:
How can I stop feeling insecure when my husband point out my flaws?
Details:
It always goes this way -
Right after my husband point it out to me , directly, that there were dirt in my toenails edges,that I have a big protruding tummy fat, and that I have a darken skin in between my butt cheeks.. Negative thoughts/ insecurity start to creep in. I began to doubt if he ever attracted to me.. I doubt that I am beautiful..and then I began to feel that he married me just because he settled for less. I wish he would compliment the good things about me in terms of personality and physical..more than pointing out my flaws and mistakes. It always end up me crying, and often verbally attack him.. Saying he should look in the mirror himself, or that he should appreciate what he has..and this sometimes end up with arguments and resentments.
I feel like I am never good enough, and that I feel he puts too much importance on appearance. I wish he would remind me to remember god or to do good deeds than to demand me to focus so much on appearance.
I am the one that compliment that he is hot or attractive or a good person... More than he say those to me. He shows his love through actions. Hr does care and loves me.. by actions such as have more sex when I feel unattractive.
My husband grew up in a loving but (in my opinion) a bit controlling family. My parents in laws like to have a say in even the trivial things. Hence details and flaws are easily spotted by him and he feels that he has a right to correct people.
While I grew up with parents that are too easy going. Everything goes...to the extend that they dont care if a daughter comes back late or early.. I wished they had shared some wisdom in my decision making.
My husband's love language is act of service followed by verbal validation.
While I thrive on verbal affections and physical touch.
Any thoughts?
Posted via Mobile Device
Now, straight to the question:
How can I stop feeling insecure when my husband point out my flaws?
Details:
It always goes this way -
Right after my husband point it out to me , directly, that there were dirt in my toenails edges,that I have a big protruding tummy fat, and that I have a darken skin in between my butt cheeks.. Negative thoughts/ insecurity start to creep in. I began to doubt if he ever attracted to me.. I doubt that I am beautiful..and then I began to feel that he married me just because he settled for less. I wish he would compliment the good things about me in terms of personality and physical..more than pointing out my flaws and mistakes. It always end up me crying, and often verbally attack him.. Saying he should look in the mirror himself, or that he should appreciate what he has..and this sometimes end up with arguments and resentments.
I feel like I am never good enough, and that I feel he puts too much importance on appearance. I wish he would remind me to remember god or to do good deeds than to demand me to focus so much on appearance.
I am the one that compliment that he is hot or attractive or a good person... More than he say those to me. He shows his love through actions. Hr does care and loves me.. by actions such as have more sex when I feel unattractive.
My husband grew up in a loving but (in my opinion) a bit controlling family. My parents in laws like to have a say in even the trivial things. Hence details and flaws are easily spotted by him and he feels that he has a right to correct people.
While I grew up with parents that are too easy going. Everything goes...to the extend that they dont care if a daughter comes back late or early.. I wished they had shared some wisdom in my decision making.
My husband's love language is act of service followed by verbal validation.
While I thrive on verbal affections and physical touch.
Any thoughts?
Posted via Mobile Device
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