Ok, I've never asked for advice/help before... Here goes...
So I'm in my early twenties, but don't have much experience in 'exploring' blah blah blah and haven't ever really wanted to. I don't have many friend and haven't really ever wanted to make many. I haven't done a lot of what I want to do, because I haven't ever really wanted to... Yes, there's a recurring pattern here.
I never used to have any self esteem or confidence, but somehow, I've settled into being 'someone', to the point where I'm not perfectly confident blah blah blah... But. I feel that I'm faking the whole process; I don't feel at home in who I 'am'... I feel that I've been forced, by my lack of confidence, into becoming confident in a character. I'm 'bi' or 'gay', but I feel so confused and repressed by that fact. That is a fact. But... The person I have become is purposefully the opposite of that, because when I was in my mid-teens, I hid the fact that I preferred guys (or at least was bisexual).
God I don't even know how to concisely make my point any more. I'm depressed by myself and even though I'm confident, I feel that the confidence is in vain; the person I probably AM is the person who scares me the most. So I'm stuck in a rut.
Does anybody need any specific information, before offering any advice? Feel free to ask :-) But, basically, I feel that I don't want topretend any more, but don't know how to stop. :-(
I just don't know, you can probably see clearly, that I'm confused.
Sorry for not being any clearer. Ask whatever you want...
So I'm in my early twenties, but don't have much experience in 'exploring' blah blah blah and haven't ever really wanted to. I don't have many friend and haven't really ever wanted to make many. I haven't done a lot of what I want to do, because I haven't ever really wanted to... Yes, there's a recurring pattern here.
I never used to have any self esteem or confidence, but somehow, I've settled into being 'someone', to the point where I'm not perfectly confident blah blah blah... But. I feel that I'm faking the whole process; I don't feel at home in who I 'am'... I feel that I've been forced, by my lack of confidence, into becoming confident in a character. I'm 'bi' or 'gay', but I feel so confused and repressed by that fact. That is a fact. But... The person I have become is purposefully the opposite of that, because when I was in my mid-teens, I hid the fact that I preferred guys (or at least was bisexual).
God I don't even know how to concisely make my point any more. I'm depressed by myself and even though I'm confident, I feel that the confidence is in vain; the person I probably AM is the person who scares me the most. So I'm stuck in a rut.
Does anybody need any specific information, before offering any advice? Feel free to ask :-) But, basically, I feel that I don't want topretend any more, but don't know how to stop. :-(
I just don't know, you can probably see clearly, that I'm confused.
Sorry for not being any clearer. Ask whatever you want...
Put the internet to work for you.
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