How does one deal with issues or conflicts that arise once in a while in a marriage (in reconciliation) that have nothing to do with a past infidelity without dragging the issues from the infidelity into it?
I am trying to move on, forgive my husband, not live in the past where the infidelity took place, create good and meaningful experiences with him, regain my trust and respect for him and enjoy our lives together, but...
I find that when we have a conflict over something minor, as all married couples have, I tend to blame the infidelity, or more correctly, my husband's personality characteristics that led to the infidelity for our present argument.
So then I feel guilty, realizing I really haven't moved on and wonder if I still want to punish him for a past he has apologized for and is working hard to overcome and make up for. Something is still unresolved for me and I don't know how to fix it...
Its been 2 and a half years since Dday, with a lot of complications in reconciliation due to OW continued attempts to maintain a connection with my husband and his less than ideal reactions to these attempts. And with the passage of time, it is very frustrating to him to have to go over and over issues that he thought were dealt with...But we are both determined to stay the course, and rebuild our relationship.
Any advice from those who have been through this?
I am trying to move on, forgive my husband, not live in the past where the infidelity took place, create good and meaningful experiences with him, regain my trust and respect for him and enjoy our lives together, but...
I find that when we have a conflict over something minor, as all married couples have, I tend to blame the infidelity, or more correctly, my husband's personality characteristics that led to the infidelity for our present argument.
So then I feel guilty, realizing I really haven't moved on and wonder if I still want to punish him for a past he has apologized for and is working hard to overcome and make up for. Something is still unresolved for me and I don't know how to fix it...
Its been 2 and a half years since Dday, with a lot of complications in reconciliation due to OW continued attempts to maintain a connection with my husband and his less than ideal reactions to these attempts. And with the passage of time, it is very frustrating to him to have to go over and over issues that he thought were dealt with...But we are both determined to stay the course, and rebuild our relationship.
Any advice from those who have been through this?
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