Lately I've been feeling less connected to my wife. She's had some issues with depression for the last few months but she's doing much better now.
A few months ago she was getting angry at me all the time and we would fight about so many things. During each of our fights I feel like it was always me trying to find a solution to the problem but she would always go to the extreme negative and say that maybe we should just get a divorce. This happened numerous times and I told her how much it upset me so she eventually stopped saying that word every time. I should mention that this would happen when the topic was something I was upset about. When she was upset she wouldn't bring up divorce but would want the situation changed.
When we argue now I feel like the situation is similar but not as severe. Again if I bring up something I'm unhappy about she will either deny it or start guilting me by saying that she's terrible and I don't like her anymore. Sometimes I just don't want to deal with that so I just let the argument die and start doing something else.
I almost feel like this is her being passive aggressive and trying to control the situation in another way. It also happens with cleaning….. She is generally a messy person and I end up doing the majority of the cleaning. Many times I will do it when she's sleeping or not home. Even after I spend all this time cleaning when she decides to clean something, even if it's for 5-10 minutes she always calls me to help her with it. It's as if she can't stand doing work while I'm not helping her.
This is just some background I'm giving that I think is relevant because now I just don't feel like being close to her very much or even having sex very often. I almost feel like I've checked out of the marriage in a way. She knows it too, sometimes she says it seems like I don't like her anymore. I wouldn't go as far as saying that, but I definitely don't feel that magic we once had.
There's so much more that's happened that I don't want to get into but I just don't know how to go from here. I can't stand being the only one willing to work on things. Even today we were getting ready so I could go to an appointment I asked her if she could hurry up and leave right away. She just kept at the same pace and then was about to eat when I was ready to go out the door. I ended up missing it and I was upset because she didn't take me seriously. She said it was my fault that she doesn't take me seriously and that I shouldn't give her attitude.
I don't really know where to go from here. I feel like she takes me for granted now. I want our marriage to get better but I don't feel like putting much effort towards making it better because it's always me trying to do it. And now my lack of effort is making her care less as well, I'm not sure where things are going anymore.
A few months ago she was getting angry at me all the time and we would fight about so many things. During each of our fights I feel like it was always me trying to find a solution to the problem but she would always go to the extreme negative and say that maybe we should just get a divorce. This happened numerous times and I told her how much it upset me so she eventually stopped saying that word every time. I should mention that this would happen when the topic was something I was upset about. When she was upset she wouldn't bring up divorce but would want the situation changed.
When we argue now I feel like the situation is similar but not as severe. Again if I bring up something I'm unhappy about she will either deny it or start guilting me by saying that she's terrible and I don't like her anymore. Sometimes I just don't want to deal with that so I just let the argument die and start doing something else.
I almost feel like this is her being passive aggressive and trying to control the situation in another way. It also happens with cleaning….. She is generally a messy person and I end up doing the majority of the cleaning. Many times I will do it when she's sleeping or not home. Even after I spend all this time cleaning when she decides to clean something, even if it's for 5-10 minutes she always calls me to help her with it. It's as if she can't stand doing work while I'm not helping her.
This is just some background I'm giving that I think is relevant because now I just don't feel like being close to her very much or even having sex very often. I almost feel like I've checked out of the marriage in a way. She knows it too, sometimes she says it seems like I don't like her anymore. I wouldn't go as far as saying that, but I definitely don't feel that magic we once had.
There's so much more that's happened that I don't want to get into but I just don't know how to go from here. I can't stand being the only one willing to work on things. Even today we were getting ready so I could go to an appointment I asked her if she could hurry up and leave right away. She just kept at the same pace and then was about to eat when I was ready to go out the door. I ended up missing it and I was upset because she didn't take me seriously. She said it was my fault that she doesn't take me seriously and that I shouldn't give her attitude.
I don't really know where to go from here. I feel like she takes me for granted now. I want our marriage to get better but I don't feel like putting much effort towards making it better because it's always me trying to do it. And now my lack of effort is making her care less as well, I'm not sure where things are going anymore.
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