I don't know how to describe what i feel like because i don't even know how i fee myself. My emotions are so up and down it is unbelievable. Basically my girlfriend broke up with me last week, it's been a full 7 days and i've been through every emotion you can imagine.
Me and my girlfriend are both 20 and had been together for a year and a month, at the start it was perfection, we went to Paris after 2 months. We went to Egypt after 4 months of going out like we was in a fairytale dreamland. But after Egypt things started getting rocky, we started arguing alot more etc, not to seriously though but it was quite frequent maybe once every couple weeks. Fast forward to now and things had got out of control, my girlfriend had dumped me on average of once a week for the past 2 months. One time it was because i was late to a meeting with a priest we were seeing as she wanted us to become celibate in line with her Catholic beliefs (we had been in a sexual relationship before that). I apologized i pleaded but she had decided already before i arrived to dump me with the priest, she dumped me in front of the priest cold heartedly. We ended up getting back together after she admitted she overreacted and after i apologized again and again for being late . Other times have been because i asked her if she could cook me a meal because every time she comes to my place i cook for her and i can't go to hers as we are at University and her halls don't allow guys. I just asked like saying it would be nice if she could spontaneously do that, she then got angry saying why should she cook in my house and then dumped me, we got back together the next day tho. After the priest thing i even asked her why does she keep dumping me to then apologize later and she got angry saying i was trying to say she didn't have a reason to dump me and then she proceeded to dump me again. We reconciled though.
In this situation we were just talking and she told me if i don't earn more than her by the time it's time to get married she will leave me and never marry me. I disagreed and thought it was shallow, after her saying that i was pretty annoyed and she wanted us to cuddle as normal and i just wasn't in the mood. She then got angry and dumped me, it had go to the point where it was so up and down that i just agreed and didn't plead with her. She left and blocked me on facebook and deleted
me, blocked me on whatsapp and blocked my number.
First day, i was happy/relieved like it's for the best kinda thing. That feeling has progressed into feeling hurt about the way she just dumped me and blocked me. Then sadness but throughout all these emotions i have never felt like i want our relationship back. Last night i cried myself to sleep looking at old videos of us together, not ashamed to say that. I didn't watch them wishing we could be happy again though, i wasn't feeling like i want her back at all. It was more like i wasn't coping with the lack of contact. Last night i was pretty adament that i was going to go to her house and just turn up outside one day so i could see her. I could jus imagine myself crying as soon as i see her and telling her i can't deal with not speaking to her.
But the thing is i don't want her back as a girlfriend. So i am so CONFUSED, i don't actually want to go there with flowers begging for our relationship back. So if i don't want our relationship why would i consider going to see her? I don't even know, yesterday i just felt like not being able to talk to her was too much like i just wanted to maybe talk to her about how we both felt. Should i do this though? As i don't want her back should i just leave it as turning up at her house when i don't even want a relationship with her again is kinda over the top. I've woken up today feeling less like i want to go to her house now but i don't know if that feeling will resurface. When she ended it she said we should have no contact until we come back to university after the christmas holudays so basically January 28th, she said then maybe we can try and be friends after that. So should i just respect that and wait til Jan 28th to see how i feel then. I dunno tho i also feel shocked th at she hasn't called aswell, i'm so used to her coming to her senses after dumping me that this time it's been hard to take. It's not like i even want her to call and tell me sorry because i don't want the relationship anymore but i think that has made me sad also. I am truly messed up about this man, someone help.
Me and my girlfriend are both 20 and had been together for a year and a month, at the start it was perfection, we went to Paris after 2 months. We went to Egypt after 4 months of going out like we was in a fairytale dreamland. But after Egypt things started getting rocky, we started arguing alot more etc, not to seriously though but it was quite frequent maybe once every couple weeks. Fast forward to now and things had got out of control, my girlfriend had dumped me on average of once a week for the past 2 months. One time it was because i was late to a meeting with a priest we were seeing as she wanted us to become celibate in line with her Catholic beliefs (we had been in a sexual relationship before that). I apologized i pleaded but she had decided already before i arrived to dump me with the priest, she dumped me in front of the priest cold heartedly. We ended up getting back together after she admitted she overreacted and after i apologized again and again for being late . Other times have been because i asked her if she could cook me a meal because every time she comes to my place i cook for her and i can't go to hers as we are at University and her halls don't allow guys. I just asked like saying it would be nice if she could spontaneously do that, she then got angry saying why should she cook in my house and then dumped me, we got back together the next day tho. After the priest thing i even asked her why does she keep dumping me to then apologize later and she got angry saying i was trying to say she didn't have a reason to dump me and then she proceeded to dump me again. We reconciled though.
In this situation we were just talking and she told me if i don't earn more than her by the time it's time to get married she will leave me and never marry me. I disagreed and thought it was shallow, after her saying that i was pretty annoyed and she wanted us to cuddle as normal and i just wasn't in the mood. She then got angry and dumped me, it had go to the point where it was so up and down that i just agreed and didn't plead with her. She left and blocked me on facebook and deleted
me, blocked me on whatsapp and blocked my number.
First day, i was happy/relieved like it's for the best kinda thing. That feeling has progressed into feeling hurt about the way she just dumped me and blocked me. Then sadness but throughout all these emotions i have never felt like i want our relationship back. Last night i cried myself to sleep looking at old videos of us together, not ashamed to say that. I didn't watch them wishing we could be happy again though, i wasn't feeling like i want her back at all. It was more like i wasn't coping with the lack of contact. Last night i was pretty adament that i was going to go to her house and just turn up outside one day so i could see her. I could jus imagine myself crying as soon as i see her and telling her i can't deal with not speaking to her.
But the thing is i don't want her back as a girlfriend. So i am so CONFUSED, i don't actually want to go there with flowers begging for our relationship back. So if i don't want our relationship why would i consider going to see her? I don't even know, yesterday i just felt like not being able to talk to her was too much like i just wanted to maybe talk to her about how we both felt. Should i do this though? As i don't want her back should i just leave it as turning up at her house when i don't even want a relationship with her again is kinda over the top. I've woken up today feeling less like i want to go to her house now but i don't know if that feeling will resurface. When she ended it she said we should have no contact until we come back to university after the christmas holudays so basically January 28th, she said then maybe we can try and be friends after that. So should i just respect that and wait til Jan 28th to see how i feel then. I dunno tho i also feel shocked th at she hasn't called aswell, i'm so used to her coming to her senses after dumping me that this time it's been hard to take. It's not like i even want her to call and tell me sorry because i don't want the relationship anymore but i think that has made me sad also. I am truly messed up about this man, someone help.
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