I'm a girl in my early 20s, and I see no real need to have close male friends.
When I say close I mean spending time alone with them, in private, texting them a lot and that sort of stuff.
I have one good male friend, who is gay. I would say we speak fortnightly, and would see each other monthly, but less now. As a teenager, one of my other closest friends was a gay male. When I was younger and never had boyfriends, I liked to talk sometimes to guys about my crushes and stuff, in order to gain a male perspective.
My gay male friend, who I mentioned, came out a few months ago. We were friends for a while before that, but I always made sure to kept a certain distance. I was sure to talk about my boyfriend and make sure I did nothing that could be misconstructed. I did meet with him alone, for lunch now and again, but that's all. We have several things in common, are from the same background etc., which was a motivation for my friendship. However, at one point a mutual friend suspected he liked me, and he had started to like a lot of my facebook pictures, etc., so I kept my distance and had planned to confront him, and so it was a relief when he came out.
But otherwise, I have a boyfriend who i'd also like to consider my best friend. I don't see why I would go and have to tell another guy things I won't tell him. I had been good friends in the past when I was younger, simply because I was attracted to them and wanted more, or they were attracted to me, but neither of us had felt the same way.
I know my female friends' boyfriends and they're great guys, as well as one or two guys from my area who I chat to when I see around, and hang out in a group with, but no more than that.
I just think that one party will always want more, it could be uncomfortable for the boyfriend/girlfriend, and you just have to be careful all of the time to not give the wrong idea, say the wrong thing, stuff like that.
I also don't buy into this idea that all girls are b**ches, the girls I am friends with are very nice, and not backstabbing, conniving witches... I've met bitchy guys in the past, who do exactly the same thing.
Overall, I am happy with my girl friends, I can be friendly with guys but I don't find it necessary to be so close with straight ones, I am not missing anything.
Does anyone else feel like this, or is this a silly kind of approach? I was just curious to know. Thanks in advance.
When I say close I mean spending time alone with them, in private, texting them a lot and that sort of stuff.
I have one good male friend, who is gay. I would say we speak fortnightly, and would see each other monthly, but less now. As a teenager, one of my other closest friends was a gay male. When I was younger and never had boyfriends, I liked to talk sometimes to guys about my crushes and stuff, in order to gain a male perspective.
My gay male friend, who I mentioned, came out a few months ago. We were friends for a while before that, but I always made sure to kept a certain distance. I was sure to talk about my boyfriend and make sure I did nothing that could be misconstructed. I did meet with him alone, for lunch now and again, but that's all. We have several things in common, are from the same background etc., which was a motivation for my friendship. However, at one point a mutual friend suspected he liked me, and he had started to like a lot of my facebook pictures, etc., so I kept my distance and had planned to confront him, and so it was a relief when he came out.
But otherwise, I have a boyfriend who i'd also like to consider my best friend. I don't see why I would go and have to tell another guy things I won't tell him. I had been good friends in the past when I was younger, simply because I was attracted to them and wanted more, or they were attracted to me, but neither of us had felt the same way.
I know my female friends' boyfriends and they're great guys, as well as one or two guys from my area who I chat to when I see around, and hang out in a group with, but no more than that.
I just think that one party will always want more, it could be uncomfortable for the boyfriend/girlfriend, and you just have to be careful all of the time to not give the wrong idea, say the wrong thing, stuff like that.
I also don't buy into this idea that all girls are b**ches, the girls I am friends with are very nice, and not backstabbing, conniving witches... I've met bitchy guys in the past, who do exactly the same thing.
Overall, I am happy with my girl friends, I can be friendly with guys but I don't find it necessary to be so close with straight ones, I am not missing anything.
Does anyone else feel like this, or is this a silly kind of approach? I was just curious to know. Thanks in advance.
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