dated since 1991, co-habituated since 1994, just married 2 yrs ago because I thought he was finally trustworthy. He is a great man in many respects and I know he loves me. He works on the road (1to2 wks at time). I always suspected, but caught with evidence of sex with another woman in 2001. He cried, claimed it was only time, now realized how much I meant to him (blah, blah, blah). I said I probably needed counseling to get past it and he agreed. His friend told him not to do it cuz he would feel awkward, so he never went. So, instead of leaving (typical low self-esteem issues) I made him promise a few things... no strip clubs, no online chatting w/ women I don't know, no being another woman's shoulder to cry on w/out my knowledge and consent... the rules evolved with the times to include: no lingerie/bikini bars, NO PORN (cuz I saw he was doing hundreds of hits each day and had started bringing the filthy/degrading name-calling plots to bed with me; and a man with poor impulse control who works on the road does not need the temptation). He broke every single one of these promises over and over, always first lying about it and if I could prove, saying "sorry, I won't do it again".... and then he would do it again. About a yr before agreeing to marry him he seemed to have changed and steered away from doing these things. A yr into marriage (last year) I realized he had just gotten better at lying and covering up. I have overheard recent conversations with a particular friend of his (always the one he is "disgusting" with) where he still brags about his times with "*****s" and that he has had "a fun life so far, got no regrets and wouldn't change a thing" (this was just this past fall 2013). I confronted him and he lied. Then I heard him tell this same friend about it and say that he lied (I knew he was calling him n figured subject would come up so I voice recorded him). I confronted him and he lied to me about lying. I gave him 3 chances to fess up and he lied, so I played his voice saying "well, I lied to her so she calmed down" and then he laughed with his friend. I put keylogger (and told him I did) on his laptop so the porn has stopped there, but I just (innocently found a stash of old-school porn and dvd's in his truck). I just got contact info for a local polygraph examiner and am going to set one up for him. I can't think of any other way to know the truth so I can figure out what to do........
Put the internet to work for you.
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