Possibly Strangest Separation

My wife moved out completely unexpectedly on June 21. I came home and there was a moving van and police officers (to keep things civil). I was able to talk to her for about 5 minutes before she left and she said it was because of all the 'bullying' of her and her daughter. I then emailed her later and told her I loved her and didn't understand. She said that she absolutely loved me and I am her one and only love and that she tried to show me in the month of June how much she loved me. (she told me she was going to do the 30 day challenge with me where we are intimate for 30 days in a row and we only missed two days, one random and one the night before she left, which she has since said she regrets not making love that night). Since the leaving, which she said she had intended to never see me again, she has spent time with me with her daughter, who is 10, and her daughter clearly wants to spend time with me, but my wife at times says that wou ld be good but there is never any follow through. She comes over and kisses me, flirts with me, has invited me out to dinner, finally has said she wants to go to a counseling appointment with me, but will talk about nothing to do with the relationship. And when it is brought up she says the issues are hers. She now says I am not an abuser and that she is not asking me to change anything about me. (there was no physical abuse or anything of that kind and no infidelity which would seem to be clear by our 30 day challenge). She has a hard time with parenting based on her abuse by her parents and stepparents, as is my analysis. She has 2 older children who walk all over her but she doesn't see it. Her children curse at her, demand money from her, dictate how she should act and dress. So, I parented the daughter who lived with us in a great effort not to turn out the same way. Wife had problems with 'the look,' bedtimes, any discipline. There was nothing physical! No s panking, just time outs. As I've said she tells me loves me every day, that I am the last man she will marry and ever make love to, but there are days when she barely seems to notice me. (she doesn't ask how my day was or call me, mostly she responds to my texts and phone calls) This is her third marriage. 17 years for her first one which she claims had a lot of infidelity, 2-3 for the second one which she says had a lot of sexual abuse. Pregnant at 16 and in and out of foster homes. Despite all this an absolutely amazing woman who I love more than anything. Her two older children are 20and 24. I don't know if I am enabling her by loving her and being there for her completely through all this. Is this the wrong way to approach what she did and what she is working through? It is tearing me apart her distance and the roller coaster. She says that she never expected to hear from me again after she left and if she did it would not be a kind word from me, so the fact i have been kind and loving is an absolute 'blessing' and she doesn't know where to put it. Her two older children are very bad influences and it seems like that who is who she turned to when she was considering this action because our peers and family like grandparents had no idea that she was considering this action. Again, she is very affectionate when she comes over and she says she struggles with that because she can not control herself around me but that she can not go there. Any advice or even someone in a remotely similar situation would be appreciated. She says her focus right now is on her faith and adamantly does not want a divorce. 'i could never fill out the papers. it would be you who would have to do that.' She refuses to talk with anyone associated with the Church as she does not want to be 'judged.' She was judged when pregnant at 16, in coming out of her other two marriages and at other times in her life. Do I need to give her space? Pull away a little? If only to help me? I started seeing a therapist immediately after the separation, but even they are struggling to make sense of it all. We are going together on Wednesday but it almost sounds like she just wants to meet my counselor to see if she would want to see her on her own. Last Wednesday she said, 'i am so sorry i did not work through my issues before i met you.' I simply hate where we are at right now and can imagine no other woman who i will be inspired by and love more than her. (i waited almost 40 years to meet the right woman but as soon as i met her i knew) I'll never give up hope but right now I don't know if I am doing the right thing by expressing my love and unconditional support for her through this all. (but i struggle to feel loved by her. i hear words but few actions) thank you

Put the internet to work for you. via Personal Recipe 2629979