Husband cheated-so depressed

Hello, I just recently found out that my husband of a year and half, together for over 7 1/2 years has cheated on me. A little back story, when we first started dating he would email people and talk about sex with them. I had my suspicions and had found the email left open and checked. I confronted him and he was sorry and wouldn't do it again. Just before our one year anniversary I went out with some girlfriends and he went to a party, when I walked in the door from being out all night he was having intercourse with a girl from the party. He was extremely drunk and incoherent and started vomiting after I had found him. We broke up and he moved out. After thinking it over I eventually took him back, I decided our relationship was worth the work. I would check up on him every once in a while with his phone and his email, he would always willingly had over his phone, he never would before and I started trusting him again. There have been times over the last few years that I have had my suspicions again and would check but find nothing. I'd ask, he would say no.. I got on his computer last night while he was out fishing and found that he had been talking to one of my employees via video chat and doing things over the webcam. I stopped looking, called him and he came home. When he got home he tried to say that he didn't know what that was from and he didn't remember doing it. I called my employee and asked her and then after talking to her he fessed up and said he had contacted her because he felt like it was easy and he was feeling lonely because we weren't talking that much and intimacy was really limited. We had a long conversation and I agreed I wasn't putting my all in the relationship anymore and that we both could do more to make this work. I asked him one last time if I would look on his computer if I would find anything more and he said no, he promised. I put all of my faith into him and this morning just had that gut feeling... I looked on his computer and found more emails in his history that pop up, he deleted them so I am unable to read it but I know they were there. I just feel like I am at such a loss. I don't want to talk to my friends or family about it because they will hate him.. if I stay with him how horrible would it be to have my family and friends hate him. I feel like I'm going crazy... I can't imagine not being with him, we have the best time together and it just baffling to me that he would do this. :confused: I can't stop crying and I just don't feel like I can function. I don't know if I should try to do counseling with him, end it, move on and hope it doesn't happen again... I just feel like I need to scream to get it all out.. I feel like I have wasted 8 years of my life on a man that will never love me like I love him. I feel like I am doing something wrong that he is cheating on me. I feel like there are things we could work on but that this shouldn't have happened. W hy is it so easy for some people to lie?? please help me!

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