Daughter & new wife..and then some

Hi all. New here so bear with me. After some searching and seeing how active this site was, I decided to post my problem. So here goes. I married a woman 8 years ago who had a daughter. At the time she was 6 years old when we met. 2 years ago we divorced. There were many issues with my ex-wife. My stepdaughter expressed her desire to stay with me. She moved out when I did and soon after my ex signed over her rights and I became legal guardian. When we moved out due to financial reasons we had to move in with my parents, where a year and a half later we still reside. She now is 16 years old. I have since met someone, who is wonderful. She is better for me, a better person, my daughter loves her, and she loves my daughter as if she was her own. We have discussed getting married, however there are issues afoot. This summer my daughter wanted to stay with her aunt and uncle who live across town for the summer. They have a more flexible schedule, a dog she adores, closer to her grandmother, closer to her summer camp etc. So I had no problem with it. I still saw her several times a week as she was at my house several times a week for dinner, as well as the weekend and going to church together. My daughter has since expressed a desire to stay with her aunt and uncle once school starts. My parents (and myself) are very structured, very planned out with a calendar marked with work, church, school, etc. My daughter being a 16 year old hates that. She also has stated that if my girlfriend and I do get married, she doesn't want to move in with us because it is the town next door and her elderly father lives with her. The simple solution would be get married and move in with her, and my daughter stay with her aunt and uncle. But my girlfriend sees herself as being the reason my daughter would not be living with me. Even though it isn't her directly, logistically it is due to being in the town next door and her father. And when we first met she swore she would never be the reason I wouldn't be with my daughter. She would never let me get to the point of a choice having to be made between the two of them. What do I do? If I let my daughter stay away, then I could lose the love of my life. But if I be the mean dad so to speak and tell her she is coming period, then I create a rift between us. She has already been abandoned by her mother, and I don't want her feeling like I am choosing someone else for my happiness over her. I hope this made some sort of sense. I look forward to hearing some input, good or bad, on me, or my daughter. If something needs clarification, feel free to ask. Thanks in advance!

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