Was my email out of line?

I know you guys will be brutally honest. Background - Married 15 years; last 1.5 of them separated; divorced 8 years. No cheating but he was verbally abusive. One daughter, now 14. Started with 50/50 visitation and custody; it was problematic to me as he wasn't reading to her (nothing in reading log during kindergarten/first grade) and wasn't keeping any kind of schedule (bedtime might be 11pm, might take her to daycare late) which made her days with me very difficult. I was awarded primary legal and physical custody. Five years later he filed for primary legal and physical custody with a bunch of crazy rubbish and after being investigated by CPS, taking drug tests, having a Guardian ad Litem appointed to kiddo, a full custody evaluation and psych evaluation he dropped it all and settled out of court for half the time he had before it all when he saw the report. It basically said I was a good and sound parent, he was NPD and overly permissive. No more case building, no putting kiddo in the middle. This was emphasized strongly by the GAL. It's been more than difficult co-parenting. Our primary means of communication was ordered to be email and if we required a response in less than 48 hours, to phone the other party to notify them of the email. Kiddo comes home to tell me her Dad signed her up for a private Driver's Ed and I would have to take her to one week of it. I don't mind her going - I mind being excluded from this decision. I wrote him an email: Quote: Ex, I really wish you had discussed signing kiddo up for driving school with me prior to doing it. First, it impacts me since I have to arrange her transportation during the work week even though the first week is during your vacation; second, making such a unilateral decision is not in compliance with the order; and third, it is simply not in the spirit of co-parenting and you knew it would put me in the spot of either having to comply with your decision or being the 'bad guy' and refusing to take her the second week. I don't appreciate being omitted. It would have been more appropriate to let me know you would like to sign her up, for us discuss it and THEN let kiddo know (which we both know she'd agree to going). Just like Friday, 7/5/13 when you wanted to meet at 7pm instead of 6pm due to a conflict, you had kiddo ask me if this was okay instead of reaching out to me directly. Then going through kiddo to ask if we can meet Sunday at 7pm since you'd be losing an hour. The order clearly states that all changes to the schedule need to be decided upon by the parents and THEN let kiddo know. Putting her in the position of middle-man, passing on messages is not appropriate. I generally respond to texts and emails very promptly. I don't have an issue with her taking the class; it doesn't let her get her license any sooner than she would otherwise, I just don't like being left out of a major decision that impacts me as well. In the future, please deal with me directly. I would appreciate it and it keeps kiddo out of the middle; she should not be our go-between. Thanks, Enjoli To which he replies with a hateful page full of text, accusing me of badmouthing him, of lying about the cost to kiddo (I thought it was more expensive - my bad. Now I know it's only $45) AND he insists I reimburse him because it's an expense child support covers. He says I'm "case building" and that I'm the one putting her in the middle. I feel if I ignore everything, it will only get worse and he'll think I have no issue with being trod upon. I've asked him to pay support on time (he still doesn't) I've asked him to be on time for exchanges (he's seldom on time). How do objective people read the tone of the email? Would you be offended if this came from your ex after scheduling something like this without discussing it first?

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