Hurting so bad

First of all I'm in a lesbian relationship, please don't judge that. So after finding out my WS was having an affair on me two weeks ago today we go to counseling (our second session) and she says that she is "done." She won't even give our relationship a chance at R. We have been together for 10 years. Of course this comes on the heels of her finding out I called the OW's partner to tell her her spouse was having an affair with mine. So somehow between the OW and my partner they convinced the OW's partner that I was crazy and there was no affair. She warned me that if I contacted the OW's partner again that they would put a court order on me for harassment. My partner managed to convince the OW's spouse that I was the crazy one! The OW's spouse is in serious denial because I knew her partner's favorite color, I knew what time she went to bed and got up based on when my partner checked her phone. I'm feeling pretty crazy and confused. She said that I haven't made her happy in a long time. That I've changed in the last year...the only way she could describe it was my "essence" changed. I'm feeling really low and depressed. I feel like if I could have done better I wouldn't have broken the relationship. If I had done things differently, made her happy somehow this wouldn't be happening. My whole life has changed in two weeks. What I thought was a happy relationship was a lie. I thought we'd grow old together. We had even talked about marriage in a state that allows that in March of this year! What did I do wrong? I just want to die.

Put the internet to work for you. via Personal Recipe 2629979