Cant Let Go

It's been a difficult year. My wife and I got a sudden divorce in March that has turned my whole life upside down. She is 26, and I had just turned 31. Basically, we started having some issues when both of our children were diagnosed with autism. With tantrums, noise, appointments, challenges, etc. we were really tested but through some tough times still loved each other deeply, or so I thought. We began engaging in an open marriage to "spice things up" and it did for a while, until she fell for someone she hooked up with, told me out of nowhere she didnt love me anymore and left me for them. Now, I am stuck seeing her on an almost daily basis as we have joint custody of the children and bounce them back and forth. Not only does she not love me but shows no remorse, no respect, and basically acts like Im dirt. She makes fun of me to others, literally went from telling me I was the only one for her to just betraying all of my trust and hating me. I ve tried to move on so much for the kids, my family, everything. I got back with a girl I dated a long time ago, shes living with me, is good with the kids. I have a new place, try to consume myself with time with her and the kids, and yet no matter what I do I cannot let go with how I feel about my ex. Even though she hates me, I cannot let go of wanting her back and wanting my family back together. It hurts terribly, and I just dont know how I can ever let go. I loved her so much, and just dont understand how she can treat me this way, and dont understand why despite her horrible crap and what she did to our family why I just cant hate her. Has anyone been through anything likes this? Any advice?

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