Can she ever trust me again?

I am a WS who has been visiting this website for a few weeks now as has my BS Stargazer(SG). Our D'Day was last April and since then I have put SG through the hell of trickle truthing, lying to protect myself and for the first few weeks after D day maintained phone contact with the AP. The affair lasted two and a half years and prior to that I was close freinds with the AP for around 6 months. A major betrayal. I had the affair for selfish reasons, i was flattered, it was an ego trip, i kidded myself that the AP and me were 'soul mates' and was excited that someone seemed to need me so much, the sex was exciting. I maximised all the good things about the AP and minimised all the negatives. In short I was selfish, cruel and manipulative towards a woman who had done nothing to deserve it and all for the sake of a fantasy. SG has been amazing and has worked so hard to keep us together despite my continued trickle truthing and evasion. I know this sounds self pittying and I guess it is. Now I find it hard to believe that I could have been so totally cruel and self centred and it is hard to realize that about yourself. The good news is that there are no more lies, secrets or deception. I have no desire to see the AP ever again despite occassional attempts by her to contact me and let me know she is still available. I want complete R with SG more than anything and to spend the rest of our lives together. We are looking at our marriage prior to the A and working on addressing the issues that had made the marriage in many ways a sham. I know that SG must look at me and wonder who i am and if I am going to smash her world apart again. I have lied so many times before, how can she ever believe me again? If the roles were reversed I don't think I could ever trust again and it would eat me up. SG is amazing to have stayed with me despite all i've done. My question, I guess, is what can I do to reassure her that I am totally committed to her and our relationship together? In your experiences what are the most important things to do? Sorry for the rambling post, delighted to hear from anyone out there

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