at a loss

OK I am not one to put myself out there but here we go. My wife had an affair with another soldier.She slept with him while I was on training and when I found out she made every effort to justify it. " He's loney, he listens to me,he's just a friend,etc." She assured me he was out of the picture but something was not right. During that time I started to drink more and started smoking again. For a while I was living with a stranger who made every flaw and trouble my responsibility. It wasn't until I left for Afghanistan I found out why: she was still talking to this guy! She called me a monster because of me trying to stop it and this ass had the nerve to say I was a bad man. He had cut himself when I said it needed to stop and she blamed me for everything that had happened. I told her I was done with her and she still tried to justify everything that had happened. I told her that I didn't care about her excuses I am done. The next day I get a mess age from her saying that she wants to try for real.I had felt all chances were given but I still said yes and put back on my wedding band. I told her no more lies and if she does even about the weather I am done. That was a few months ago and we are talking as much as we can.I feel she is remorseful but sometimes I have my doubts. Sometimes I wonder if I am doing the right thing. Should I have gotten to her level and made her life a living hell like she did me. I just don't know sometimes. Thoughts?

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